Relationships can be complicated. With the rise of social media, many people now broadcast their relationship status publicly on platforms like Facebook and Instagram. It’s not uncommon to see someone list their status as “complicated” rather than definitively single or in a relationship. But what exactly does it mean when someone puts “complicated” as their relationship status?
It means they are in an undefined relationship
Often times, complicated is used when someone is in a relationship that defies typical definitions. They may be in an open relationship, a situationship, or a friends with benefits scenario. There’s intimacy and connection, but they aren’t officially dating or committed to each other. The complicated label allows them to acknowledge the complexity without having to explain the specifics of their situation to everyone.
It suggests discretion is required
Posting complicated also signals that discretion about the relationship is needed. If someone is legally married but secretly separated, they may not want to publicly declare themselves as single. Those in same-sex relationships may use complicated if they aren’t fully out. Cheating is another context where complicated comes into play – someone attached but involved with someone else may use it to avoid having to post their affairs publicly.
The relationship is transitioning
Complicated can also indicate that the relationship is in a state of transition or limbo. Someone may use complicated after going on a break with their partner but before officially separating. Or they may use it after a fight while they figure out if they will stay together or break up. It suggests the relationship is in flux and its future is undetermined.
It keeps people guessing
Let’s face it, complicated also adds an element of intrigue and mystery. Instead of definitively announcing a relationship status, complicated keeps people guessing. Someone who posts complicated enjoys the attention and interest it brings as friends and followers try to figure out what’s going on behind the scenes. It builds curiosity and fuels speculation about who the person may be involved with.
It generates interest and attention
Putting complicated suggests there are interesting developments underway that others aren’t privy to yet. It’s a way to tease followers and spark discussion. People naturally want to be “in the know” about a messy or unconventional situation, so labeling a relationship complicated feeds into that desire.
It avoids unwanted pressure
At the same time, complicated relieves someone from having to make a definitive statement about their love life. Declaring a relationship opens the floodgates to questions and opinions from friends. Complicated gives just enough information to seem transparent, while maintaining some privacy and boundary.
It evokes sympathy and support
When someone announces their relationship is complicated, it also tends to evoke sympathy and support. Friends will rally around someone going through a tough time in their love life. They’ll offer emotional support and reassurance. Putting complicated invites others to check in and offer kind words during a relationship difficulty or transition.
People want to help
Seeing complicated triggers caring friends to reach out lend an ear or shoulder to cry on. They want to help the person work through whatever situation has made their relationship uncertain. Simply posting complicated and vaguebooking about relationship problems elicits attention and support.
It justifies venting
Complicated also justifies posting brooding social media updates, lyrics, memes and quotes. Someone with a complicated status has a reason to subtweet and vent about their frustrations, heartaches and confusion. Their followers are primed to offer compassion instead of judgement.
It’s a hedge for commitment phobes
For those afraid of commitment and labels, complicated offers a safe middle ground between single and in a relationship. Rather than definitively declare themselves taken or not taken, complicated gives them an out. It allows them to be involved with someone while still appearing unavailable.
It satisfies a fear of commitment
Commitment phobes can use the complicated status as a way to keep emotional distance. It signals they aren’t fully invested and may push partners away before they get too close. Complicated buys them time to avoid making a real commitment.
It avoids vulnerability
Being overtly public about a relationship requires vulnerability that some avoid. Complicated allows them to disclose some information and test the waters of going public, while maintaining walls and protective distance. For the emotionally avoidant, it is a safer option.
It reflects modern dating realities
The complicated status resonates with many simply because it accurately reflects the complexity of modern dating. With phenomena like situationships on the rise, more and more relationships defy the status quo. Complicated has become a common relationship status because it mirrors the real uncertainty and ambiguity people experience.
Dating has become less defined
With traditional dating on the decline, exclusivity and commitment cannot be assumed anymore. Talking, hanging out and intimacy do not necessarily lead to relationships. Complicated captures this new dynamic where dating has become more ambiguous.
| Type of Dating | Share of Adults |
|---|---|
| Traditional dating | 30% |
| Situationships | 50% |
| Friends with benefits | 20% |
Social media adds complexity
Social media also adds layers of complexity that generation’s past never had to deal with. Things like public documentation of relationships, social media stalking, and communicating via apps instead of talking make dating intricately complicated.
It reflects unhealed emotional wounds
For some, consistently complicated relationships point to inner emotional conflicts. Patterns like attracting unavailable partners, sabotaging healthy relationships, or being unable to commit signal past wounds that require healing in order to have healthy relationships.
It reveals attachment issues
People with attachment issues rooted in childhood often end up in messy adult situations. Those with an avoidant attachment style emotionally distance and have difficulty with intimacy. Anxious attachers become obsessed, jealous and overly clingy. Complicated relationships reflect these dysfunctional attachment tendencies.
| Attachment Style | Relationship Patterns |
|---|---|
| Secure | Healthy intimacy and trust |
| Anxious | Obsessive, extreme highs and lows |
| Avoidant | Extreme emotional distancing |
Unresolved issues get projected
Unresolved trauma like abuse, neglect, loss or abandonment also get projected onto adult relationships. The psychological wounds lead people to hurt others or accept hurtful dynamics, resulting in complicated toxic relationships. Past issues require resolution before healthy relating is possible.
It indicates self-protection
Choosing complicated relationships or situationships may signal someone is protecting themselves. Remaining ambiguous or uncommitted avoids vulnerability while still getting some needs met.
It meets some needs
For those hesitant about commitment, situationships allow them to fulfill some needs like fun, sex and companionship without full intimacy. Complicated relationships offer connection without the risk of a messy breakup.
It avoids disappointment
Those who have been hurt a lot may use complicated to avoid further disappointment. By refusing to commit or expect much, they protect themselves from betrayals, abandoned, and other relationship letdowns.
How to solve relationship complications
If complications are preventing relationship happiness, here are some tips:
- Take time to heal – Reflect on emotional wounds impacting choices
- Seek closure – Get closure on past relationships before moving forward
- Build self-esteem – Develop a strong sense of self-worth and self-love
- Improve communication – Learn to communicate needs, listen actively and resolve conflicts
- Set boundaries – Establish what behaviors are dealbreakers and unacceptable
- Consider therapy – Get professional help understanding relationship patterns and making changes
Conclusion
In summary, complicated relationship statuses are nuanced. They often indicate ambiguous modern dating situations where commitment isn’t clearly defined. But complicated can also reveal inner conflicts, attachment issues and emotional wounds that require healing in order for healthy relationships to develop. With self-reflection and support, it’s possible to move beyond complicated status to the clarity of a relationship that’s progressing positively.