Social media envy is a real phenomenon that many people experience. Seeing filtered versions of your friends’ lives on sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter can lead to feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, and frustration.
What is social media envy?
Social media envy refers to feelings of envy, jealousy, resentment, or inferiority that arise from comparing yourself negatively to others on social media. It occurs when you see curated glimpses into the lives of your friends, family, celebrities, influencers, and strangers that appear happier, more successful, more attractive, more adventurous, more popular, or more accomplished than you.
On sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, people tend to post their highlight reels – the most exciting vacations, accomplishments, purchases, events, and moments of their lives. This inevitably distorts the reality of their day-to-day lives. Comparing this filtered content to your own life, which has its mix of highs and lows, can lead to envy.
Why does social media trigger envy?
There are several reasons why social media tends to stir up feelings of envy:
- Distorted reality. Social media shows only quick snapshots of people’s lives, portraying an idealized or exaggerated reality.
- Selective sharing. People tend to share only their best moments and achievements, not their setbacks.
- Comparison. Envying other people’s accomplishments or possessions is part of human nature. Social media provides endless opportunities for comparison.
- FOMO. The fear of missing out (FOMO) kicks in when your friends appear to be having more fun or excitement than you.
- Low self-esteem. Those with lower self-esteem are more likely to envy others and compare themselves negatively.
- Over-investment. Spending too much time on social media increases the likelihood of envy.
How Facebook triggers envy
Facebook in particular fosters feelings of envy because:
- News feed shows a constant stream of life highlights.
- You get a broad look at acquaintances’ lives, not just close friends.
- It’s easy to get caught up stalking and comparing.
- Major life events are announced in detail for all to see.
- Vacation photos stir up wanderlust and FOMO.
- Political and social causes can highlight what you “should” care about.
Signs you may be experiencing Facebook envy
Here are some signs that you may be feeling envious of what you see on Facebook:
- Feeling inadequate when you compare your life to others’
- Wishing you had someone else’s job, relationship, home, body, family, or lifestyle
- Feeling frustrated that other people appear happier than you
- Getting irritated when seeing someone brag or show off
- Judging yourself for not having as much fun, success, or wealth
- Having FOMO when friends are on vacation or at events without you
If you find yourself constantly measuring up against friends and acquaintances on Facebook, it may be social media envy rearing its head.
How Facebook envy impacts your wellbeing
Experiencing frequent envy on Facebook can negatively impact your mental health and wellbeing in several ways:
- Lower self-esteem and self-confidence
- Increased anxiety, stress, and depression
- Disordered eating and body image issues
- Withdrawal and isolation from people and activities
- Obsessive social media “stalking” habits
- Feelings of bitterness, anger, and resentment
Envy can become an obsessive habit that keeps you constantly comparing yourself to an unrealistic ideal. This creates a destructive thought pattern that undermines your self-worth.
How to deal with Facebook envy
Here are some tips to prevent and overcome feelings of envy when using Facebook:
- Limit Facebook time and take regular breaks. Don’t get sucked into endless scrolling.
- Remember that highlights don’t show the full picture. Others’ lives aren’t perfect either.
- Rethink who you compare yourself with – compare up but also down.
- Focus on your own goals rather than others.
- Mute or unfollow accounts that regularly trigger envy.
- Increase your self-esteem and gratitude for what you have.
- Share your own highlights too – people may envy your life as well.
The less importance you place on social comparisons, the less envy you’ll experience. Avoid measuring your worth based on Facebook standards.
How to use Facebook more mindfully
Here are some tips for using Facebook in a more mindful, envious-free way:
- Engage thoughtfully by commenting and messaging, not just scrolling.
- Share useful information, don’t just brag.
- Focus on real-life connections, not collecting fake “friends.”
- Join Groups to find communities based on interests, not appearances.
- Use tools like FB Purity to filter and block stressful content.
- Report harmful posts like body-shaming instead of comparing.
- Post about causes and issues you care about, not just yourself.
Approach Facebook more deliberately, like any media, rather than mindless consumption. Remember real friendship is based on genuine support.
When to take a Facebook break
If Facebook is seriously impacting your self-esteem, consider taking a complete break for a set time period. Some signs it’s time for a break include:
- Feeling depressed or frustrated after using Facebook
- Losing several hours a day to aimless scrolling
- Constantly comparing yourself to others negatively
- Arguing with friends or family over posts
- Neglecting real-life relationships and activities
- Noticing physical stress symptoms like headaches or insomnia
Taking a week or month completely off Facebook can help reset your perspective. You may also wish to permanently delete or deactivate your account if it continues impacting you negatively.
In summary…
Facebook envy is the result of comparing your real, unfiltered life to the carefully curated highlights of others. The distorted reality presented triggers feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, resentment, loneliness and depression for many users.
To combat Facebook envy:
- Limit your time on the site, take regular breaks
- Remember it shows exaggerated realities, not normal life
- Reframe comparisons and focus on your own path
- Increase self-esteem and gratitude for what you do have
- Approach Facebook more mindfully
- Take occasional digital detox breaks if needed
With awareness, you can prevent social media from negatively impacting your self-worth and mental health.