It’s a common occurrence these days to have someone show up in your Facebook Messenger contacts list even though you aren’t friends with them on Facebook. There are a few different reasons why this can happen.
You Used to Be Friends
The most straightforward explanation is that you used to be friends with the person on Facebook but one of you unfriended the other. When you unfriend someone on Facebook, it automatically removes them from your main friends list and news feed. However, it does not remove them from your Messenger contacts.
So if you used to be friends with someone on Facebook and connected with them on Messenger, unfriending them later will not disconnect you on Messenger. You both will remain in each other’s messaging contacts even though you are no longer Facebook friends.
You Have Each Other’s Phone Numbers
Another possibility is that you and the other person have each other’s phone numbers stored in your mobile devices. Facebook Messenger has an integration with your phone’s contact list. When you sign up for Messenger using your phone number, it automatically connects you to anyone else in your contacts who also uses Messenger.
So even if you’ve never been Facebook friends with someone, having their phone number saved in your contacts is enough for Messenger to link you. You will show up in each other’s messaging apps due to the phone number connection.
You Have Mutual Friends or Groups
Facebook’s algorithms may also connect you with someone on Messenger if you have overlapping social circles and connections, even if you aren’t directly friends.
For example, if you have several mutual friends or are both members of the same Facebook groups, you are more likely to show up in each other’s Messenger contact list. Facebook’s systems recognize that you share connections in common and facilitate contact on Messenger.
You Interacted in the Past
Interacting directly with someone on Facebook in the past, even if you aren’t friends, can also link you on Messenger. For instance, if you’ve ever commented on the same posts, liked or reacted to each other’s content, or had any exchanges via comments, you likely have an open channel on Messenger.
Facebook’s algorithms remember these connections. So past interactions can prompt Messenger to enable messaging, separate from your main friend status on Facebook.
One of You Sent a Message Request
On Facebook Messenger, it’s possible to send a message request to start a conversation with almost anyone, even people you’re not connected to. If either you or the other person sent a message request in the past, accepting it opens up a messaging channel.
That messaging access will remain available going forward, regardless of your friend status on Facebook. Declining or ignoring the request means you will stay unconnected on Messenger as well.
You Were in a Group Chat Together
Similarly, being part of the same group chat threads can create a pathway for you to message each other on Messenger, separate from your Facebook friends list. When you participate in a group conversation, Messenger remembers that connection going forward.
Even if you leave the group chat or are removed from it, the messaging avenue with other participants often stays open. So group chats provide another route for Messenger to link you.
One of You Viewed the Other’s Profile
Merely viewing someone’s public Facebook profile occasionally prompts Messenger to establish a connection as well. Facebook’s systems can interpret profile views as interest in connecting.
So if you’ve viewed each other’s profiles, even without interacting directly, Messenger may enable messaging capabilities between you based on that profile viewing activity.
You Have Similar Interests and Connections
Facebook’s algorithms also try to proactively link you on Messenger with people they determine you may want to connect with. If you have substantial overlapping interests, friends, group memberships, networks, locations, and other data points, you are more likely to show up on each other’s Messenger.
Even without directly interacting, Facebook will facilitate messaging contact if its systems calculate you are likely to want to communicate based on shared attributes and connections in its database.
One of You Imported Contacts
If you or the other person imported email contacts or phone contacts into Facebook, it may have matched you together and enabled Messenger messaging. Importing contact lists allows Facebook to connect you with any aligned emails or phone numbers in its system.
So if one of you gave Facebook permission to scan your contacts, it can create connections on Messenger to anyone in the other’s list – without a direct Facebook friends link.
You Have Each Other’s Emails
Similar to having each other’s phone numbers, when you sign up for Facebook with an email address, it checks for contacts associated with that email. If the other person has connected to their Facebook account using the same email, it will match you together.
Even if you are not friends on Facebook itself, connecting with the same email is enough for Messenger to create a messaging connection.
You Signed Up Through Shared Login
Some apps and services offer quick signup through Facebook login credentials. If you and the other person ever signed into the same external app this way, using your Facebook accounts, that third-party connection can enable messaging.
Facebook’s systems recognize that shared login linkage and will then open up channels on Messenger accordingly.
One of You Sent an Unauthorized Message
It is possible on Messenger to manually enter someone’s name, email address, or phone number to message them even if they are not a recognized contact. Sending an unauthorized message this way means the receiving user has to opt-in to see and respond.
If the recipient accepts the message, you become connected on Messenger for future conversations. If they ignore or decline it, no messaging connection is made.
You Visited Each Other’s Facebook Stories
Interacting with someone’s Facebook Stories, even a stranger, creates a link on Messenger as well. When you react to, comment on, or view each other’s Stories, Messenger enables messaging capabilities between you.
So Stories interactions allow you to start conversations through Messenger, without any Facebook friends connection.
One of You Sent a Messenger Message Request
Within Messenger itself, you can send a message request to start a conversation with almost anyone, similar to sending an unauthorized message. If the recipient accepts the request, you are then connected going forward.
This means Messenger message requests provide another potential avenue to open messaging access, separate from Facebook friend status.
You Interacted in Messenger Platform Apps
When you use the same third-party apps or services integrated with Facebook Messenger, interactions inside those apps can also establish a Messenger connection.
For example, if you both use Messenger-enabled games or business platforms, communicating inside those environments can facilitate direct messaging outside the apps later.
It’s a Bug or Glitch
With Facebook’s complex systems linking billions of users, bugs and glitches do occur. In some cases, a messaging connection on Messenger may show up erroneously between you and someone else due to a technical issue.
If there’s no clear reason for the messaging link, it may be a minor software bug causing it to appear until the problem is resolved.
They Added You Manually
The person showing up in your Messenger contacts may have simply entered your name, email address, or phone number manually themselves. This adds you to their contacts and opens up messaging capabilities.
If you never approved the contact connection, they likely took the initiative to add you themselves via your profile information or contact details.
Conclusion
In summary, there are a variety of potential reasons why you could be connected on Messenger with someone you aren’t Facebook friends with. The most common causes include:
- You used to be Facebook friends
- You have each other’s phone numbers
- You have mutual friends or group connections
- You interacted on Facebook in the past
- One of you sent a message request
- You were part of the same group chats
- You viewed each other’s profiles
- You have similar attributes and contacts
- You imported the same contact lists
- You used the same email addresses
- You logged into shared third-party apps
- You interacted in Messenger-enabled platforms
- There is a technical bug or glitch
- They manually added you themselves
Facebook’s algorithms aim to connect people across its messaging services based on a variety of signals and interactions. So Messenger contacts don’t always align directly with your list of Facebook friends. The platform proactively facilitates messaging channels between people with overlapping connections and attributes.
If someone shows up unexpectedly in your Messenger, it’s likely due to past direct or indirect interactions, links between your contact details, shared contacts or attributes, or the person adding you themselves. Unless it’s unwanted, this simply provides another avenue to connect and message with mutual contacts on Facebook’s messaging platform.
Facebook’s systems work continuously to analyze links and interactions between people and enable communication channels where they determine connections exist or are wanted. So don’t be surprised if Messenger contacts appear that you aren’t Facebook friends with – the messaging platform facilitates contact in many ways beyond your main friends list.
Facebook’s main goal is to connect people and open lines of communication. So Messenger acts as an extension of this by proactively linking you to others the algorithms calculate you may want to message, regardless of your formal friend status on Facebook itself.
The platforms complement each other while recognizing that messaging connections don’t always precisely mirror official Facebook friends. Overall, being connected on Messenger without Facebook friend status simply reflects the many avenues, links, and interactions that can facilitate messaging contact through Facebook’s ecosystem.