The Basics
When you change your relationship status on Facebook, it does not automatically show to all of your friends and followers. Facebook gives you options for who can see your relationship status update.
You can choose to show your new relationship status to:
- Public: Anyone who can see your profile
- Friends: Your friends on Facebook
- Only Me: Only you can see the change
- Custom: Choose specific friends or lists to show the update to
So you have full control over who sees that you went from “Single” to “In a Relationship” or changed your status to “Engaged”, “Married”, “Divorced”, etc.
Public vs Friends vs Only Me
Choosing “Public” will broadcast your new status to anyone who visits your profile. This includes all friends, followers, acquaintances, and even strangers if you have a public profile.
“Friends” will share it with your approved friends list and friends of friends if your settings allow that.
“Only me” is fully private and no one else will know if you change your relationship status this way.
The default setting is Friends when you change your relationship status, so it will not post a public announcement unless you choose to.
News Feed
In addition to showing on your profile, a relationship status change can also appear in your friends’ News Feeds. But this is also something you can control.
When changing your relationship status, uncheck the box next to “Share on News Feed” if you do not want it to publish to your friends’ Feeds. It will still show on your profile per the privacy setting you choose there.
So you have separate options for controlling News Feed visibility and profile visibility when changing relationship status.
How to Change The Visibility
Whenever you enter a new relationship status or change an existing one, you will see a dropdown box with the options:
– Public
– Friends
– Only Me
– Custom
Choose the option you want and the new status will be set accordingly.
To edit the visibility for an existing relationship status:
1. Go to your Facebook Profile
2. Click on your current relationship status below your name
3. Select “Edit Privacy”
4. Choose who you want to see your relationship status
5. Click “Done”
This will change who can see that relationship status moving forward.
Custom Visibility Settings
The “Custom” privacy option for relationship status allows you to be very selective about who sees changes.
You can choose specific friends, friend lists, or groups of people to show the update to. Anyone not selected will not see your new status.
To configure custom settings:
1. Choose “Custom” from the visibility dropdown when changing your status
2. Start typing friend names to select individual friends to show the update
3. Enter the names of any friend lists you want to show the update
4. Type in the names of any groups you are a member of
5. Click “Done”
This will lock the visibility down to only those you explicitly choose.
You can come back and edit the custom list at any time to add or remove people.
Controlling Tags
Another aspect of privacy around relationship status changes is profile tagging.
When you enter a new relationship, Facebook will suggest tagging your new partner. If you select the tag, their name and profile will appear in your status.
For example, if you change to “In a Relationship” and tag your new girlfriend Jennie, your status will read “John Doe is in a relationship with Jennie Smith”.
The tag will only appear to audiences you select for the visibility settings. But still, you or your partner may not want a public tag.
If you do not want a tag, just ignore the tagging suggestions as you enter your status update. Only your name will show.
Or if you already tagged your partner, you can remove the tag from the relationship status edit screen.
This gives you full control over tagging as well as general visibility.
Breakups and Divorces
Ending a relationship on Facebook brings its own potential pitfalls when it comes to privacy.
If you change to “Single” after a breakup, you once again have control over visibility settings. The default single status will not post publicly if you had a private relationship status.
But it is wise to update your visibility and untag your ex when entering a “Single” or “Divorced” status. Any remaining tags or visibility to your former partner will give them access to the new status.
And if you go through an acrimonious breakup, you likely do not want your ex knowing about your newly single Facebook status. So remove those tags immediately when ending the relationship.
Similarly, it is courteous to immediately untag a former partner if you begin a new relationship. No one wants an ex knowing the intimate details of when you entered your next relationship.
Blocking Exes
For a clean break, consider blocking your former partner when ending the relationship on Facebook.
Blocking prevents them from seeing your profile, posts, or any relationship status updates moving forward. This may help avoid any unnecessary drama or hurt feelings after a breakup.
You can always unblock them later on if you want to reconnect as friends down the road. But blocking gives you a total reset and privacy while healing from the breakup initially.
Other Places Status Appears
Your Facebook relationship status may appear in a few other places beyond your profile and news feed:
- Friends’ timelines – If friends interact with your status update, it can show up on their timelines
- Mutual friend conversations – Conversations between your mutual friends may reference the change
- Profile previews – Hovering over your name or profile pic can preview the status
- Activity log – Your status change shows in your activity history and notifications
So even if you limit visibility, traces of a relationship status change can end up in other spots. But controlling who it is visible to greatly reduces its spread across Facebook.
Changing Settings for Past Posts
What if you made a relationship status public in the past, but now want to limit its visibility? Or maybe you tagged a partner but no longer want them tied to your profile?
You can also update privacy settings for old posts and status updates.
To adjust visibility or tagging for a past status:
1. Go to your Facebook profile and click on the status update to open it
2. Click on the audience selector (globe icon) in the top-right
3. Edit the privacy settings as desired
4. Remove any tagging of ex-partners if present
5. Click “Done” to save changes
The post will now obey the new visibility rules and tags you set.
Conclusion
Facebook relationship statuses can feel like public declarations, but you have many controls over exactly who sees those declarations.
Choose privacy settings wisely when entering a new status. Limit visibility to only those you want knowing about your dating life. And be cautious about tagging partners who may end up as exes down the road.
Past relationship statuses can also be edited to tweak visibility or remove tags. So you are never stuck with a status that overly exposes your private life.
With the right settings, your Facebook relationship status can stay between you and your intended audience. So you can avoid any unintentional oversharing or drama with an audience you did not choose.