Facebook’s “Add Friend” feature allows users to send friend requests to other users. When you send a friend request, the other user will see the request and can choose to accept or ignore it.
However, sometimes when you send a friend request, the “Add Friend” button will appear greyed out instead of the normal blue color. This typically means one of two things:
The user has restricted friend requests
If the “Add Friend” button is grey, it often means the user has set their account to not allow friend requests from strangers. Facebook allows users to restrict who can send them friend requests in their privacy settings.
For example, a user can set their account to only allow friend requests from “Friends of Friends.” In this case, if you are not already connected to the user through a mutual friend, the “Add Friend” button will appear greyed out.
Users can also restrict friend requests to only allow requests from people in their same network, like school or work. Or they can disable friend requests entirely from people they don’t know.
You have already sent the user a friend request
The other reason the “Add Friend” button may appear grey is if you have already sent a friend request to that user that is still pending. Facebook will grey out the button so you can’t send multiple requests.
When you send a friend request, the request will stay pending until the user accepts it, rejects it, or it expires after 14 days. While the request is still pending, you will see the grey add friend button.
So if you try to add someone as a friend and see the grey button, it likely means you already have a pending request with that user. You will have to wait until they respond to your existing friend request.
What to do if you see a grey Add Friend button
If you come across a grey “Add Friend” button for someone you want to connect with on Facebook, here are some tips:
- First, check if you already have a pending friend request with that person. The grey button usually means there is already a request sent.
- If you don’t have a pending request, the user likely has restricted friend requests. You can still send them a message, even without being friends.
- Ask a mutual friend to connect you and the other user. Having a friend in common often allows you to bypass friend request restrictions.
- Send the user a message explaining you would like to add them and see if they can accept your request.
Why would someone restrict friend requests?
There are a few reasons why someone may restrict who can send them friend requests on Facebook:
- Privacy – They may not want strangers or distant acquaintances adding them without consent.
- Spam – Restricting requests can prevent spammers or bots from sending unwanted requests.
- Friends list curation – They may want to carefully curate their Facebook friends list with only people they know well.
In many cases, the privacy settings are not personal. The user may be happy to accept your request once you explain who you are or have a mutual friend connect you.
Making Facebook friend requests
Here are some general tips for sending Facebook friend requests:
- Personalize the request with a message so the user knows who you are.
- Check for mutual friends who can introduce you to bypass restrictions.
- Be patient if your request is still pending and avoid sending multiple requests.
- Respect the user’s privacy. If they decline your request, do not repeatedly send more.
With over 2 billion users on Facebook, not every friend request will get accepted right away. But being thoughtful in your requests and respectful if they ignore you can help build genuine connections.
Limitations on Facebook friend requests
In addition to user-controlled restrictions, Facebook also limits the number of friend requests you can send:
- You can only have a maximum of 5000 pending sent friend requests at any time.
- If you have 5000 pending requests, you have to cancel some before sending more.
- You can only send a maximum of 5000 requests per day. This prevents spamming.
If you try to exceed these limits, Facebook will prevent you from sending more requests until your pending requests drop under 5000 or until the next day resets your daily quota.
Friending people you may know
Facebook will sometimes suggest new friends for you based on mutual connections, shared interests, networks, and more. However, you may still see the grey add friend button for these recommendations.
Even if Facebook suggests someone, they may still have friend request restrictions in place. The same rules will apply – you can try sending them a message first or ask a mutual connection to link you.
Troubleshooting grey add friend buttons
If you encounter a lot of greyed out buttons when trying to add friends, here are some troubleshooting tips:
- Check your pending sent requests – you may have reached the 5000 limit
- Cancel any unwanted pending requests to free up slots for new requests
- Make sure you haven’t exceeded the daily request limit of 5000 requests per day
- Try connecting through mutual friends instead of sending direct requests
- Double check that the person doesn’t already have another pending request from you
And if needed, consider adjusting your privacy settings to be more restrictive on who can send you friend requests. This will prevent spam and ensure only people you know can directly connect with you.
Conclusion
Grey “Add Friend” buttons on Facebook typically indicate you’ve already sent a pending request or the user has set restrictions on who can friend them. While it can be frustrating, respecting users’ privacy settings and connecting through mutual friends is key to building genuine connections on Facebook.
With over 2.7 billion users, not every friend request may get immediately accepted. But being thoughtful in how you engage with new connections can help grow your network and strengthen bonds with both new and existing friends on Facebook.