Changing your Facebook relationship status to “separated” can be a big decision that comes with many questions. In the opening paragraphs, I’ll provide some quick answers to common questions people have when considering this change.
Will my ex see if I change to separated?
Yes, if you are still connected on Facebook, your ex will be notified of your relationship status change to separated. They may see it on their newsfeed or when they visit your profile.
Who else will see my new separated status?
All of your Facebook friends will see that you changed your relationship status to separated. It will be visible when they look at your profile or may show up in their newsfeed depending on their settings.
Should I post about the separation on Facebook?
It’s generally not advisable to post the details about your separation publicly on Facebook. That said, a simple status update like “John and I have decided to separate” is fine if you want people to know. Avoid airing dirty laundry online.
Will my family find out if I change to separated?
Yes, all your Facebook friends including family members will see your new relationship status. If you’re not ready for family to know, hold off on changing it or customize your privacy settings.
What if we might reconcile?
If there’s a chance you and your partner may reconcile, you may opt to keep your status as “In a Relationship” or “It’s Complicated” rather than making the separated status official. This keeps your options open.
Should I post pictures with someone new?
If you’ve started dating someone new, it’s best not to post pictures with them for a while if your status is still separated. This can hurt your ex and appear disrespectful to your prior relationship.
How long should I wait to change to separated?
There’s no set timeframe, but a good rule of thumb is to wait a few weeks after you and your partner have separated to officially change your Facebook status. Avoid changing it in the heat of the moment.
What if my ex unfriends me?
It’s pretty common for exes to unfriend each other after a breakup or separation. Don’t take it personally if your ex unfriends you after seeing you changed your status to separated.
Should I block my ex when separated?
Blocking an ex isn’t usually necessary unless there are reasons like potential harassment. You can limit their access to your content without fully blocking. But it’s a personal decision.
Is telling people on FB tacky?
Posting a separated status isn’t necessarily tacky. Facebook is a way many people communicate major life updates with their community. Just be thoughtful in how you share the news.
Should I post an explanation about why?
When separated, it’s best not to overshare details or point blame publicly. A simple “John and I have separated” will suffice. Explanations can get messy on social media.
Pros of Changing to Separated Status
Here are some potential pros for updating your Facebook relationship status to separated:
- Lets your social network know your relationship status changed
- Avoids questions and speculation about where your partner is
- Can feel empowering to officially acknowledge the separation
- Allows you to honestly portray your current situation
- Makes it clear you are single and potentially open to dating
Cons of Changing to Separated Status
Some possible cons to weigh include:
- Your ex will be notified immediately
- No taking it back – people will know you separated
- Could invite unwanted questions about the details
- May be seen negatively if done impulsively after a fight
- Some prefer privacy around relationship details
When is it appropriate to change to separated?
It’s appropriate to change your Facebook status to separated when:
- You and your partner have officially agreed to separate
- One of you has moved out, making the separation physical
- You’ve come to terms with the relationship ending
- Enough time has passed that it doesn’t seem impulsive
- You’re comfortable with people knowing the status change
Essentially, when you and your ex have both accepted you are separated and you are ready for others to know, it is likely an appropriate time to update your Facebook status.
What to post about separation on social media
If you do want to acknowledge your separation somewhere public like Facebook, here are some neutral, appropriate things to post:
- “John and I have decided to separate. We appreciate privacy during this time.”
- “After much thought, Juan and I have separated. I wish him the best going forward.”
- “Maria and I have separated as of [date]. Thank you for understanding.”
Keep it simple and amicable. Avoid venting, blaming your ex, or oversharing details. Be mindful that your ex, family and friends will all see it.
What to do about relationship status if reconciling
If you and your partner are reconciling after a separation, there are a few options for updating your Facebook status again:
- Change back to “In a Relationship” with your partner’s name
- List as “In a Relationship” without specifying who (keeps it vague)
- Write “Reconciled” or “Back Together” before changing it officially
- Change to “It’s Complicated” if you want ambiguity
Choose whichever option feels right for your situation. Just be sure you and your partner are on the same page about relationship details being public.
How to cope if ex is posting negatively about you
Seeing an ex post negativity about you on social media after a separation is frustrating. Here are some tips for coping gracefully:
- Take screenshots in case you need evidence of cyberbullying or harassment.
- Block your ex temporarily if needed to avoid seeing hurtful posts.
- Vent to trusted friends and family – do not engage publicly.
- Seek support from a counselor if it causes emotional distress.
- Remind yourself hurt people hurt people – their negativity is not about you.
- Practice self-care and stay busy to take your mind off it.
- If severe, consider legal action for defamation, libel etc.
Staying silent, blocking selectively and surrounding yourself with support can help you move forward positively.
Conclusion
Separation is never easy, but you get to decide when and how to change your Facebook relationship status to reflect your new reality. Consider the pros and cons, timing, privacy settings, your ex’s reaction and more. Move forward mindfully, focusing on self-care. This challenging time will pass.