Widowed is a relationship status that indicates a person’s spouse has died and they have not remarried. When someone’s spouse passes away, their relationship status changes from married to widowed. This signals to others that they have lost their partner through death and are now navigating life without their spouse.
Some key points about the widowed relationship status:
It indicates the spouse has died
– Widowed means the person was previously married but their spouse has died. This differentiates it from other non-married statuses like single, divorced or separated.
It does not indicate interest in dating
– Just because someone is widowed does not necessarily mean they are looking to date or remarry. They may still be grieving their spouse and not ready to pursue new relationships.
It’s permanent until remarriage
– A widowed status remains in place until/unless the person remarries. Even if they begin dating again, they would still be considered widowed if not officially remarried.
It’s legally recognized
– Widowed is considered a legal marital status by the government. It allows access to certain Social Security and other benefits reserved for widows/widowers.
The length of time varies
– There is no set time frame for how long someone remains widowed. It could be months, years or decades depending on the individual circumstances.
Why Choose Widowed as a Relationship Status
There are several reasons why someone who has lost their spouse may continue to identify as widowed on social media, dating sites and other platforms that ask for relationship status:
Honoring the spouse’s memory
– Remaining widowed can be a way to honor the marriage and remember the late spouse. Even after dating again, some widowed people consider themselves still married to their late partner.
Signaling they are not ready to date
– Identifying as widowed can indicate to others that the person is still grieving and not ready for romantic relationships, even if they are socializing again.
Seeking community and support
– Joining widowed support groups and connecting with others who understand their grief can be helpful. Specifying they are widowed can facilitate this.
Coping with their loss
– For some, remaining widowed helps them cope with and adjust to life post-loss before considering any new relationships. It allows them space to heal.
Pending legal and financial matters
– Finalizing the estate, investments, custody arrangements and other legal/financial aspects can keep someone legally widowed until matters are resolved.
Preserving widow/er benefits
– In the case of Social Security and other government benefits, remaining unmarried sustains certain financial supports and tax breaks reserved for those widowed.
Potential Drawbacks of Listing Widowed as a Status
While there are many good reasons someone might retain their widowed status past a certain point, there are a few potential drawbacks to be aware of as well:
Confusion about dating readiness
– Those interested in dating this person may be unsure if mentioning being widowed means they actually want to pursue a relationship. Additional communication can clarify intentions.
Assumptions about inability to commit
– Some may wrongly assume the widowed person is still too devoted to their late spouse to be able tohealthily commit to a new partner.
Possibility of being targeted for scams
– Unfortunately, widowed seniors are disproportionately targeted for financial scams and frauds. Identifying as widowed may make someone more vulnerable to predatory behavior from bad actors. Caution is warranted.
Fear of appearing not ready to “move on”
– Societal expectations may pressure widows/widowers to show they have sufficiently “moved on” and identify differently. This can deter some from choosing widowed.
Concerns about being seen as only wanting companionship
– Some worry that selecting widowed may lead prospective partners to think they are only interested in casual companionship and not a committed relationship.
How Long Should Someone Wait Before Changing Their Status?
There are no universal rules dictating when it�s appropriate for a widowed person to update their relationship status after losing their spouse. This decision is personal based on individual factors like:
Amount of time since spouse’s death
– Most experts suggest waiting at least a year to allow for intense grief to ease up. This gives time to adjust to their absence.
Readiness to date/remarry
– The person should feel emotionally ready to open their heart to another partner and able to commit. Pushing before prepared can risk hurt.
Children’s readiness and approval
– For those with kids, ensuring they are also ready for a new parental figure is key. A status change impacts the whole family.
Family/in-law opinions
– While not the only factor, widows/widowers may want to consider their late spouse�s family�s feelings about new relationships out of respect.
Cultural/religious norms and values
– Certain cultures and faiths have traditional mourning timelines that widenows/widowers may wish to honor before a status update.
Legal and financial position
– Finalizing legal and financial matters surrounding the spouse�s estate provides closure that can pave the way for changing status when ready.
The most important guide is one’s own inner sense of readiness. There is no set timeline – some may feel able after just a few months, while others may need years to reconcile the loss and open their hearts again. Patience, self-reflection and trusted support is key.
How to Change Relationship Status Sensitively
Those who feel fully ready to update their relationship status from widowed to a new status like single, divorced, or even remarried/engaged, may want to consider the following tips:
Have private conversations first
– Tell close family, grown children, in-laws etc about the decision before a public announcement to avoid surprise. Offer space for questions and feelings.
Make thoughtful language choices
– Using wording like �I will always love and remember my late wife/husband AND I also feel blessed to find love again� shows respect for both relationships.
Consider timing around holidays/anniversaries
– Updating right before or on significant grief dates for their late spouse can be painful for loved ones. A little distance is kinder.
Keep photos and mementos
– Letting go of reminders of the lost partner may appear callous. Keep beloved items on display to honor their memory amidst change.
Communicate it’s not about replacing
– Stress to friends/family this new relationship does not diminish the previous one. We all deserve companionship.
Be patient with mixed reactions
– Not everyone will have the same timeline for feeling comfortable with a status update. Kindness and space helps.
With empathy, open communication and sensitivity to the emotions of others, those widowed can feel freer to share their new relationship status when the time is right for them. The deceased spouse need not be forgotten amidst new joy.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it illegal to list yourself as widowed if your spouse is still alive?
No, it is not illegal to list yourself as widowed if your spouse is still living. However, it would be unethical to intentionally misrepresent your marital status in this way. Legally, widowed has a specific meaning – that your spouse has died – and implies you are receiving certain government benefits reserved for those whose partners have passed away. Falsely claiming widowed status could potentially constitute fraud if used to obtain certain widow/er benefits unlawfully.
Can you list yourself as widowed if you are divorced?
No, it would not be accurate to list your status as widowed if you are divorced. Widowed specifically means your spouse has passed away, while divorced means your marriage legally dissolved while your ex-spouse is still living. Some online forms only provide limited options for relationship status, but wherever possible, you should specify “divorced” vs. “widowed” if it applies in order to convey correct information.
Is there a time limit after becoming widowed that you have to wait before dating/remarrying?
There are no legal restrictions or time limits governing when a widowed person can begin dating or remarry, as this is a personal decision. While very recent widows/widowers are often still actively grieving a loss, there is tremendous variability in how long someone may need before feeling ready to consider new relationships. Factors like culture, religion and family play a role. The decision is best guided by one’s own sense of emotional preparedness.
What are some resources for coping with grief after losing a spouse?
| Resource | Description |
|---|---|
| Local in-person support groups | Many hospices, religious centers and community organizations host free peer support groups for the newly widowed to connect and process grief. |
| National hotlines | Call lines like the National Widowers Organization hotline provide 24/7 access to understanding helpers, especially in times of crisis or deep loneliness. |
| Books on grieving | Self-help books offer powerful stories and strategies for coping with widow(er)hood’s enormous life change. |
| Online communities | Anonymously connecting with fellow widows/widowers in online spaces like Reddit or Facebook groups normalized challenges. |
| Professional counseling | Meeting with a grief counselor or therapist trains in helping the newly widowed can unpack feelings in a safe, guided way. |
What are some positive outcomes reported by those who lost a spouse?
Despite the deep hardship of losing a husband/wife, many widowed people also relay profound personal growth and other positive outcomes including:
– Developing greater resilience, strength and self-sufficiency
– Learning to step outside comfort zones and acquire new life skills
– Discovering they are capable of deep happiness and love again in time
– Gaining perspective on priorities and commitment to living purposefully
– Bonding more with their children through shared grief
– Receiving unexpected kindness/support from community that restores faith in humanity
– Emerging with a renewed appreciation for relationships and everyday joy
– Feeling a continuing spiritual connection to late spouse that brings comfort
– Forming new friendships, passions and experiences they may never have encountered before
The death of a spouse creates space for light anew, in time, for those who seek it. The loss will always be felt, but life can flourish even so.
Conclusion
Widowed is a unique relationship status that comes with its own complex set of emotions, challenges and experiences. For those trying to support someone adjusting to widow(er)hood, the most valuable practices are: listening without judgement, avoiding assumptions about when they might be “ready” to move on, accepting their feelings, inviting them to participate in life when able, and offering practical help as mourning progresses. There is no set timeline dictating when it may feel appropriate to update the status to reflect new relationships. Each journey is unique. With loved ones’ patience and respect, the widowed can find their way to hope.