Unfriending or unfollowing an ex on social media is a common dilemma after a breakup. On one hand, you don’t want constant reminders of them popping up in your feed. But on the other hand, abruptly cutting off digital ties can feel dramatic or passive aggressive.
Should you unfriend your ex?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Whether it’s rude to unfriend an ex depends on several factors:
- How serious the relationship was
- How amicably you broke up
- Whether you plan to remain friends
- If staying connected affects your ability to move on
In general, here are some guidelines on when it’s appropriate to disconnect from an ex online:
| Situation | Is it rude to unfriend/unfollow? |
|---|---|
| It was a casual fling or you only dated briefly | No, go ahead and unfriend |
| The relationship ended badly with hostility | No, unfollowing is understandable |
| You want a clean break with no digital reminders | No, you can unfollow if it helps you move on |
| You plan to remain platonic friends | Yes, unfriending could appear hurtful |
As a general rule, the more serious and long-term the relationship was, the more rude it can seem to instantly cut digital ties. Unfriending or unfollowing shortly after the breakup could be interpreted as an insult.
How to unfriend respectfully
If you do decide to unfollow or unfriend an ex, there are some strategies to make it a more respectful process:
- Gradually mute their posts first before fully unfollowing
- Notify them first before you unfriend or block them
- Explain your reasons if asked
- Keep them as a “restricted” friend to limit their access to your profile
The goal is to disconnect from your ex without seeming spiteful or immature. Be honest about your reasons if asked and don’t make a dramatic “public announcement.” Simply discretely removing them from your social feeds can help you move forward.
Should you block your ex?
Blocking takes unfriending a step further by preventing your ex from viewing your profile or contacting you on that social platform. Here are some situations where blocking an ex would be appropriate:
- They are constantly trying to contact you against your wishes
- They are harassing you or posting mean comments
- The relationship was abusive and you don’t feel safe having them access your profiles
- You are trying to overcome addiction to checking their feeds
If your ex’s presence on social media is impeding your ability to heal and move on, blocking can be the best option. However, outright blocking can also exacerbate conflict so proceed with caution.
Should you post about unfriending your ex?
Venting about unfriending or blocking your ex on social media is almost always a bad idea. Posting cryptic subtweets or obvious call-out posts can make the situation much worse. It can even escalate to mutual friends taking sides in the breakup.
Rather than posting about it, find healthier outlets for processing the pain like talking to close friends and family. Avoid the temptation to overshare negative emotions online, as hurtful comments are difficult to take back.
If you must share your feelings online, do so subtly and discreetly. Vaguebooking in a mature manner without directly badmouthing your ex is better than inflammatory posts if you need to vent your hurt or anger.
How to cope if your ex unfriends you
Being unfriended or unfollowed by your ex can also be painful on your end. Here are some tips for coping in a healthy way if they take the initiative to disconnect from you online:
- Resist knee-jerk reactions. Avoid impulsive angry posts or trying to retaliate.
- Reflect on why it hurts. Getting clarity on your feelings can help process the grief.
- Ask them to explain if you’re on speaking terms. This can provide closure.
- Vent to supportive friends instead of online to avoid escalating conflict.
- Focus on your mental well-being and do things that nourish your spirit outside of social media.
With time and self-care, the hurt of being unfriended by an ex will fade. Use it as motivation to redirect your energy towards personal growth and healthier relationships.
Should you stay Facebook friends with an ex?
Staying friends on Facebook after a breakup is complicated. Since Facebook requires mutual friendship, it can seem especially messy or dramatic to unfriend an ex here. Here are some pros and cons of staying Facebook friends after a breakup:
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Maintains amicable relationship | Can impede moving on |
| Allows passive stalking | Awkward if they start dating someone new |
| Preserves digital memories | Harder to gain closure and disconnect |
In general, it’s wisest to at least unfollow your ex on Facebook right after a split to get distance from regular updates in your feed. But defriending altogether may feel like a dramatic step unless contact needs to be cut completely.
If you do stay Facebook friends, be prepared to mute or unfollow them quickly if it becomes too painful watching them move on. Setting boundaries and limits is key.
Should you delete old pictures with your ex on Facebook?
This is another dilemma faced after a breakup – what to do with all those happy couple photos still lurking on your Facebook page? Here are some factors to consider:
- How recent was the relationship? Deleting decades of pictures from a marriage may be impractical.
- Do you have digital copies of the pictures? If so, deleting may be safer.
- Are you prepared for people asking questions about the deleted photos?
- Is a gradual untagging or archiving preferred over mass deleting?
Since Facebook photos can resurface old memories and pain, it may be healthiest to discretely remove tagged pictures with your ex if they are impeding your ability to move forward. But be careful not to appear spiteful and invite unwanted drama.
Should you unfollow your ex on Instagram?
Unfollowing an ex on Instagram or other photo-based platforms can be a wise post-breakup strategy. Unlike Facebook, you can unfollow someone on Instagram without needing them to approve it. Here are some reasons why unfollowing your ex on Instagram may help:
- Avoids constant photographic reminders in your feed
- Prevents obsessively checking their pages for updates
- Creates needed distance at the start of the healing process
- Allows you to refocus on yourself and your own life
That said, directly blocking or reporting your ex on Instagram could be interpreted as aggressive. Try simply unfollowing first before resorting to more extreme measures.
To keep things respectful, consider gradually muting their posts at first. Or be honest if confronted and explain you simply need some space from the constant photo memories.
Should you delete old Instagram pictures with your ex?
Just like on Facebook, removing all traces of your ex from Instagram can backfire and appear dramatic or spiteful if done carelessly. Here are some tips on thoughtfully deleting couple pictures after a breakup:
- Untag yourself first before deleting photos entirely
- Archive photos instead of fully deleting if you may want them someday
- Delete gradually over time instead of purging everything at once
- Keep photos still valued by friends and family if it’s mainly painful for you
Aim to remove content that no longer serves you and your growth. But avoid appearing bitter by tactfully removing your ex from your Instagram world.
Should you stay Twitter or TikTok friends with an ex?
Staying connected or not with an ex on Twitter, TikTok and other casual social media comes down to your unique situation. In general:
- Unfollowing is fine if their content negatively affects your mindset
- Muting or limiting views can create needed distance without unfollowing
- No need to unfollow unless actively impeding your ability to move forward
On more casual platforms where connections are looser, a gradual untagging or muting is often healthiest post-breakup. Only block if absolutely necessary to prevent obsessive checking.
The goal with all social media platforms is to thoughtfully create distance without appearing spiteful. Proceed with restraint while doing what feels healthiest for you emotionally.
Conclusion
Unfriending and unfollowing an ex on social media is usually not rude post-breakup, especially if done tactfully. Your mental health and ability to heal should take priority.
That said, dramatically blocking and deleting can make the split messier than needed. Be discreet, take it slow, and avoid obvious public call-out posts. Handled respectfully, disconnecting digitally from an ex can be empowering and give your heart the space it needs to move on.