There has been much debate in recent years over whether children as young as 12 should be allowed to have Facebook accounts. While Facebook’s official minimum age is 13, many tweens lie about their age to create accounts. This raises concerns among parents, teachers, and child development experts over the impact of social media on still-developing brains and bodies.
The risks of social media for tweens
There are several potential risks associated with 12 year olds having Facebook accounts:
Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is a major concern. At age 12, children are just learning to navigate complex social relationships. Facebook provides a platform for classmates to harass each other or exclude each other from online groups. Cyberbullying can lead to anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts in children.
Predators
Unfortunately, there are online predators looking to take advantage of innocent children. Posing as a peer, they try to gain trust to manipulate tweens into providing personal information or images. Parents have limited ability to monitor concerning online friendships if they don’t know about their child’s Facebook activities.
Inappropriate content
The internet is full of inappropriate content, from pornography to violence to false information. Children at age 12 lack the judgment and critical thinking skills to properly evaluate and contextualize such content. Seeing it too young can negatively shape their developing understanding of relationships, values, and the world.
Comparison and self-esteem
Facebook serves as a highlight reel, with users carefully curating the image they present. For self-conscious tweens, comparing themselves to their peers’ glorified online personas can batter their self-confidence and self-worth. This effect is particularly concerning for girls in early adolescence.
Reduced sleep
Scrolling social feeds activates the brain and makes it harder for teens to fall asleep. Yet developing bodies need 8-10 hours of quality sleep per night for optimal development. Teen brains are uniquely vulnerable to disrupted sleep patterns. Insufficient sleep impairs memory, learning, and mental health.
Digital distraction
The endless stream of social media provides constant stimulation and distraction for adolescents whose developing brains are highly rewarded by online interactions. But this can come at the expense of offline relationships, schoolwork, extracurriculars, and unstructured play time which are important developmental activities.
Potential benefits of monitored social media use
While the risks are concerning, there may also be some benefits for a 12 year old to engage with social media under parental guidance:
Social connection
Socializing and forming relationships are critical skills to practice in adolescence. Facebook provides a platform for tweens to maintain friendships and feel included in social groups. This sense of belonging boosts self-esteem.
Communication skills
Crafting social media posts develops written communication skills. Responding thoughtfully to friends and comments builds emotional intelligence. Being part of online groups exposes tweens to diverse communication styles.
Technical literacy
Today’s tweens need to establish digital literacy to thrive in an increasingly online world. Early experience using social technologies and navigating online safety gives them technical know-how that will benefit their academics and future careers.
Current events awareness
Facebook can supplement traditional news media and expose tweens to current events outside their community. Discussing these events with parents and peers is an opportunity to build critical thinking abilities.
Creative expression
Tweens use Facebook profiles to explore and share their interests, humor, and developing personality with a wider audience beyond their family. This self-expression boosts confidence.
Independence
A monitored Facebook account allows a tween to gain some independence in managing an online identity and relationships under parental guidance. This transitional experience helps build responsibility that prepares them for more independence.
Benefits and risks specific to girls
There are some gender-specific impacts of Facebook use in early adolescence:
Risks for girls
– Increased self-consciousness and body image issues
– More vulnerable to comparison, anxiety, depression
– Greater exposure to sexual harassment or predators
– More pressured by popularity and friend interactions
Potential benefits for girls
– Broader exposure to diverse role models and career paths
– Supportive female friendships protect mental health
– Practice communicating confidently as young women
– Leadership opportunities in online groups and activism
Best practices for parents
If allowing limited, monitored Facebook access, parents can minimize risks and maximize benefits:
Set clear expectations
Discuss appropriate use and behavior. Establish times of day, length of use, and which features are allowed. Consider starting with restricted access only on a family computer or tablet.
Friend or follow their account
Monitor their posts, friends, groups, and chat. This allows you to see content as they do and intervene with concerning behavior.
Establish trust and openness
Let your child know they should tell you about any inappropriate content or communication. Make it easy for them to come to you for guidance without judgment.
Teach critical thinking about online content
Help them identify misinformation, bias, harmful messaging, unrealistic standards, etc. Provide context for mature or controversial content they may encounter.
Role model healthy use
Be mindful of your own social media habits. Consider shared family activities that don’t involve devices.
Build self-confidence
Counteract risky comparison habits by praising their unique strengths. Celebrate diverse ideas of value and beauty. Foster their passions and sense of purpose.
Know the privacy settings
Use maximum privacy, disable location sharing, etc. Turn off access to platforms and websites with mature content. Monitor tags from others.
Alternatives to consider
Rather than granting full Facebook access, parents may want to consider alternatives to meet a tween’s social needs more safely:
Wait until age 13
Simply insist on adhering to Facebook’s age minimum of 13 before allowing an account. Reconsider each year based on their maturity.
Social apps for tweens
Some platforms like Yubo and Skoodos only permit tween-age users. These have smaller networks with stronger moderation.
Virtual world games
Games like Minecraft, Roblox, and Animal Jam allow players to explore virtual worlds and communicate on kid-safe platforms.
Family accounts
Link a parent Facebook account to create a child account with customizable restrictions. This allows monitoring and blocking while letting the tween have an independent presence.
Group chats
Have tweens use group chats on parent-approved platforms just for certain friend groups. This satisfies the desire to socialize online while limiting exposure.
The bottom line on risks vs. benefits
In summary, here’s a quick overview of the key pros and cons parents must weigh:
Main risks
– Cyberbullying and damaging social comparison
– Exposure to inappropriate content and contacts
– Sleep disruption and digital distraction
– Still-developing judgment and impulse control
Potential benefits
– Social connection with peers
– Technical skills and digital literacy
– Independence and responsibility
– Creative self-expression
The verdict
Allowing monitored Facebook access can help tweens learn to responsibly manage an online identity. But unrestricted access too early poses mental health risks that likely outweigh the benefits of social connection for 12 year olds.
Conclusion
Facebook is designed for teen and adult use, and tweens lack the maturity to use it responsibly. While some exposure can build digital literacy, parents should delay full access. Consider incremental access only with maximum privacy settings and parent monitoring enabled. Work to meet your child’s social needs through alternatives tailored for the tween age group. Keep an open dialogue and focus on building self-esteem. If you stay involved and informed, your child will have the tools to successfully navigate online spaces as a teenager.