Unfriending someone on social media is often an uncomfortable and tricky task. Whether it’s a toxic friend, an ex you want distance from, or simply someone you no longer wish to connect with, deciding to unfriend or unfollow can be hard. However, it’s perfectly acceptable to prune your social circles or take breaks from connections that no longer serve you well. Here are some tips on how to thoughtfully and tactfully unfriend or unfollow someone.
Should You Unfriend or Unfollow?
On many social platforms like Facebook and Instagram you have two options to create distance from someone without fully disconnecting: unfollowing or unfriending. Here are the differences:
- Unfollowing means you will no longer see their posts in your feed. They remain friends or followers, but you have muted updates from this person.
- Unfriending means completely removing them from your friends list altogether. This severs the online connection fully.
If you want to take a temporary break from someone’s content, unfollowing achieves that while leaving the door open to reconnect later. However, if you are ready to remove them from your online life more permanently, unfriending is the way to go.
Should You Unfriend At All?
Unfriending or unfollowing someone you care about can feel dramatic, painful, or final. Before taking that step, reflect on what’s behind your urge to disconnect:
- Are they posting inflammatory political rants you disagree with?
- Do they overshare personal drama publicly?
- Are they invading your privacy by posting about you without permission?
- Have they bullied or harassed you or others online?
- Are they an ex you’re trying to get distance from?
- Is the friendship fading and you never interact anymore?
Understanding your reasons can help give context if you communicate with them about your choice later. Transparency is key if possible. However, in abusive/toxic situations, safety comes first.
Weigh the Pros and Cons
Consider the advantages and disadvantages of disconnecting on social media:
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Gain peace of mind avoiding their negative posts | It could damage the friendship or cause drama |
| Free up your feed for positive connections | You miss out on some of their life updates |
| Take control over your digital space | It could seem passive-aggressive if you don’t talk to them |
| Create needed distance from exes or toxic people | You may hurt their feelings or seem cold |
Everyone’s equation will balance differently. Trust your gut on what feels healthiest long-term.
How To Unfriend on Key Platforms
Facebook’s interface makes it very straightforward to unfriend someone:
- Click on the Friends tab from their profile to access your full friends list.
- Scroll to find their name and hover over it.
- Choose Unfriend from the drop down menu.
- Confirm you want to remove them from your friends.
Once unfriended, their profile and posts will instantly disappear from your Facebook world.
Instagram takes a few more clicks to fully unfollow or unfriend:
- Go to the profile of the person you intend to unfollow.
- Tap Following underneath their bio.
- Toggle off the Follow button to unfollow them and mute their activity.
To completely unfriend on Instagram:
- Go to their profile and tap the three dot settings icon in the top right.
- Choose Block User to sever the connection fully.
Twitter makes it very easy to unfollow someone:
- Navigate to their Twitter profile.
- Select Unfollow directly beneath their bio.
- Confirm you want to stop seeing their Tweets.
To fully remove a Twitter follower:
- Click your profile icon > Settings and privacy > Safety and content controls > Muted > Muted accounts.
- Enter the Twitter handle of the person you want to block. Click Block.
With LinkedIn you can quietly disconnect from someone’s updates:
- Go to their profile.
- Select More > Unfollow underneath their name.
- Choose Unfollow again to confirm.
To entirely remove a LinkedIn connection:
- Click their profile and choose More > Report/Block.
- Select Block and confirm to disconnect you completely.
Should You Discuss It With Them?
Ideally, have an open conversation about your reasons first before unfriending if possible. This gives them clarity:
- Messaging them privately shows maturity and care.
- A phone or video call is more meaningful than text.
- Be honest but kind in explaining your perspective.
However, exceptions exist where safety or boundaries are an issue. You may choose to:
- Unfriend them for self care without any talk.
- Send a brief message that the friendship isn’t working.
- Block them instantly if circumstances are threatening or toxic.
Use your best judgment based on the situation and person.
What To Say When Unfriending Someone
If you decide to discuss it, think through what to say ahead of time. Some compassionate phrases could be:
- “I value our history, but feel we’ve grown apart. I’m going to unfollow for now to reflect on our changing friendship.”
- “Some of your latest posts don’t align with my beliefs/values. I think creating some distance could be healthy.”
- “Romantic feelings are still there for me, so I need to disconnect on social for a while. Wishing you the best.” (for an ex)
You can reiterate care for them as a person even if disconnecting digitally. This leaves the door open to reconcile later if desired.
What To Do If They Reach Out Angry
Hopefully they react maturely, but strong emotions can flare up after being unfriended:
- Stay calm if they message angrily. Don’t retaliate.
- Reiterate your position kindly but firmly if needed.
- Give space and time for any tension to diffuse.
- Stand your ground on upholding a healthy boundary.
- If harassment continues, block them completely.
Their hurt reaction validates this was an important step for your well-being. Have compassion but don’t back down on doing what’s right for you.
When To Refriend Someone
If the situation improves in the future, you may want to refriend the person after an unfollowing or blocking period. Signs you’re ready:
- Enough time has passed for perspective and healing (months or years).
- Positive changes have occurred in their life or maturity.
- You’ve worked through your own feelings around the relationship.
- Reconnecting would add value for both of you.
Don’t rush to refriend just because you miss them. Make sure you’ve both done personal work and are ready to interact in a healthier dynamic.
Ways To Prevent Unfriending
While removing unhealthy connections is part of having good boundaries, try these tips to avoid reaching the point of unfriending in your meaningful relationships:
- Communicate needs and issues early before resentment builds.
- Limit social media interaction if it’s causing tension or envy.
- Spend quality time together offline to nurture intimacy.
- Expand your support network so one friendship isn’t too central.
- Give friendships space to fluctuate and evolve over time.
Avoid viewing social media connections as permanent. Allow flexibility for people to come and go from your digital community based on life seasons. Stay true to your needs while handling any changes with care.
Conclusion
In summary, unfriending or unfollowing someone on social media is often necessary self-care. Set boundaries with grace and courage when friendships become toxic or no longer mutually enriching. However, be cautious not to disconnect out of temporary frustration. Have discernment about when to cut ties versus communicate openly or take space. Consider your reasons thoughtfully, handle it maturely, but know setting limits is healthy. Prioritize surrounding yourself with positive social connections that uplift you.