Having a disagreement with a friend that leads to getting blocked on social media or messaging apps can be upsetting. However, with some reflection and effort, there are ways to try to resolve the conflict and potentially unblock your friend.
Why do friends block each other?
There are a few common reasons friends may block each other online:
- After a fight or disagreement over something said or done
- To create space and distance if the friendship has become toxic or unhealthy
- Out of jealousy or competition between friends
- As a form of bullying or meanness towards someone
- Misunderstanding the tone or intent behind messages
- Breaches of privacy or broken promises around keeping secrets
Blocking is often a knee-jerk reaction when emotions are running high or there has been a breakdown in communication. It can feel like an extreme gesture, even if the actual blocking only takes a second.
Should you try to unblock a friend who blocked you?
If your friend has blocked you, especially during or after a heated dispute, it may be best to allow some time for cool-down before attempting to unblock. Pushing too fast to reconnect may exacerbate the original issue. Respect their space first.
However, if you believe the block was a rash decision and your friendship is salvageable, it’s reasonable to make some good faith efforts towards reconciliation. Think over what led to the blocking and whether you have a role to play in making amends.
Ways to try unblocking a friend
Seek a conversation in person
Having an in-person conversation is usually the best way to work through a conflict in a friendship. It’s harder to ignore someone or misinterpret tone when you are looking them in the eye and hearing their voice. Ask your friend to meet up to talk things through, keeping it casual and comfortable. However, don’t pressure them if they decline. Give them space while making it clear you want to make up when they are ready.
Write an apology or explanation
If an in-person meet up isn’t an option, the next best thing is to communicate your thoughts and feelings in writing. Send your blocked friend a carefully crafted letter, email, message on a social media platform you are still connected on, etc explaining your side of things. Apologize for any wrongdoing on your part. Make it clear the friendship is important to you. Suggest solutions on how to avoid similar issues going forward. Don’t demand or expect an immediate response.
Get help from a mutual friend
A mutual friend you are both still on good terms with can be a great intermediary to help resolve the blocking. They can convey messages between both of you and hopefully mediate. Confide in them why you think you were blocked and how much the friendship means to you. Ask them to encourage your blocked friend to reconsider. Make sure the mutual friend doesn’t feel caught in the middle.
Wait and then re-initiate contact
Give your blocked friend substantial time to cool off after the incident that led to blocking. A week or two at minimum. Let them make the first move to unblock if possible. However, if you haven’t heard from them after a reasonable waiting period, try sending a new friend request, follow request, or message. Explain you don’t mean to bother them but want a chance to work things out. Then respect their reaction, whether it’s immediately unblocking you or asking for more time.
Reflect on your behavior
Spend time thinking over what led to getting blocked in the first place. Were you overly demanding of your friend’s time and attention? Did you break their trust or cross boundaries? Perhaps you had a petty fight that snowballed. Make notes of how you may have contributed to the rift and how to avoid similar issues going forward. These reflections will help in future communications.
Respect it if your friend needs more space
If your blocked friend denies your friend request or otherwise makes it clear they need more time apart, respect that. Pressuring them to forgive or unblock before they are ready will only drive them further away. Leave the door open by communicating you hope to reconcile down the line. Focus on other friendships in the meantime and give them the space they require.
What to do if your efforts don’t work
Despite your best efforts, your blocked friend may remain adamant that they no longer wish to communicate. At that point you have two options:
Move on
Accept that the friendship has run its course. Reflect on what you’ve learned for maintaining better friendships in the future. Invest time in new friendships or strengthening existing ones. Unfollow or block your former friend on social media if needed to avoid constant reminders.
Try again down the road
Sometimes more time is the only thing that can heal a broken friendship. Check in with your former friend again in a few months. They may have gained greater perspective after some distance. Briefly reiterate why the friendship matters and suggest meeting up. Be prepared to still face rejection, but remain civil.
Signs it’s time to move on from a friendship
As difficult as it is, sometimes it reaches a point where you need to walk away from a friendship that can’t be repaired. Here are some signs it may be time to move on:
- Your repeated apologies and attempts to reconcile are ignored
- The blocking and unblocking becomes a pattern
- You are constantly feeling hurt by their actions
- The friendship causes more stress than happiness
- You no longer trust them
- Your values and priorities no longer align
- The friendship is holding you back in life
Tips for coping when a friend blocks you
Having a friend block you on social media or cut off communication can take an emotional toll. Here are some tips for coping:
- Allow yourself to feel hurt, but don’t wallow in sadness
- Avoid overanalyzing their motivations for blocking
- Resist urge to lash out or stalk them online
- Lean on other friends for comfort and support
- Stay busy with work, hobbies, exercising
- Focus on self-care and personal growth
- Forgive them and yourself
- Use it as motivation to be a better friend
How to rebuild trust after being unblocked
If your friend does eventually unblock you, that is just the first step. The friendship still requires active effort to fully mend. Here are tips for rebuilding trust after blocking:
- Have an honest dialogue about what went wrong
- Allow your friend to share their feelings without judgment
- Sincerely apologize for your role in what happened
- Agree on boundaries to prevent future issues
- Make quality time together a priority
- Have regular open communication going forward
- Follow through consistently on promises
- Don’t hold grudges
- Focus on creating positive new memories
Strategies to avoid getting blocked by friends
While there are no guarantees to prevent a blocking, here are some strategies to hopefully avoid it:
- Be judicious in sharing controversial opinions online
- Keep private information and secrets confidential
- Give friends space if they seem stressed or busy
- Listen without judgment when a friend is upset
- Compromise during disagreements
- Don’t escalate petty fights
- Offer sincere compliments and validation
- Follow through consistently on commitments
- Apologize when you’ve made a mistake
- Don’t make the friendship feel one-sided
Conclusion
Getting blocked by a friend can be a hurtful and confusing experience. However, in many cases the friendship can be salvaged with time, space, communication, and mutual effort. Consider why you were blocked, offer sincere apologies, and learn from the experience. If your efforts to reconcile fail, accept that some friendships run their course. Reflect, grow, and apply lessons to building better bonds moving forward.