Connecting with new people on Facebook can be a great way to expand your social network. However, it can sometimes feel awkward to send friend requests to acquaintances or people you don’t know very well. If you have two contacts on Facebook who you think would benefit from connecting with each other, you may want to recommend that they become friends. Here are some tips on how to tactfully and politely recommend mutual Facebook friends.
Make Sure You Know Both People Well
Before recommending that two of your Facebook contacts become friends, make sure you know both of them reasonably well. You don’t want to make inaccurate assumptions about how well they might get along. Think about how each person might react to a friend recommendation from you. Would they be open to it or feel imposed upon? Consider any details you know about their personalities, interests, backgrounds, etc. to gauge if they seem like a potential match.
Look for Common Interests and Connections
Try to identify any common interests, experiences, or connections the two people share besides knowing you. For example, maybe they work in the same industry, went to the same school, are from the same hometown, or like the same sports teams, books, or movies. The more significant things they have in common, the more likely they are to appreciate the introduction and want to connect.
Make Individual Recommendations
Rather than suggesting in a group message or post that your two contacts should be friends, reach out to each person individually first. Send them each a private Facebook message or email explaining why you think they would hit it off and give them some background about the other person. Provide details about their shared interests or connections you noticed. This gives them time to consider it rather than putting them on the spot.
Use a Positive Tone
Keep your friend recommendations upbeat and casual. Say something like, “I was thinking the other day that you and [name] might really get along. You both love [interest] and work in [industry]. Let me know if you’re interested in connecting and I can introduce you online or in person.” Don’t pressure them to accept the suggestion. Make it clear you are just providing the information, and they can take it or leave it.
Offer to Facilitate an Introduction
In your messages recommending they become Facebook friends, offer to help make the introduction if they are open to connecting. For example, you could give them each other’s Facebook info or email addresses. Or if they seem interested but hesitant, you could suggest making it a group outing for the three of you to break the ice. Go to lunch, play sports, see a movie, etc. This takes off some of the awkwardness of two strangers trying to connect solely online.
Follow Up Politely
Give your contacts some time to consider your suggestion before following up. If you don’t hear back after a week or so, check in politely. Send a message saying something like, “Just wanted to follow up and see if you had any thoughts about connecting with [name] on Facebook. No pressure at all, just let me know!” If they seem reluctant, drop it and do not push the issue further. They may reconsider later on their own.
Respect Their Decision
If one or both people decline your friend recommendation, accept their decisions graciously. Do not ask repeatedly or make them feel guilty. Say something like, “No problem at all. Just thought I’d mention it!” This will preserve your positive relationships with each of them by showing you respect their boundaries.
Suggest More Natural Connections
Another approach is to look for opportunities to more casually connect your contacts based on their existing interests and routines. For example, if they both regularly go to the same gym, coffee shop, church, etc. you could mention something like “I saw [name] at [location] the other day. You guys should say hi if you run into each other there.” This feels less forced than pressuring them to add each other on Facebook right away.
Connect Them Around Shared Plans and Events
Similarly, if you are planning a group outing or event, look for casual ways to invite both of the people you want to connect. Say something like, “A few of us are getting dinner at [restaurant] on Friday night. I think you and [name] would really hit it off, so you should both come!” Getting them together in a comfortable group setting can spark a natural friendship.
Let Friendships Develop Organically
Putting people directly in touch online or in person is great. But try not to force a friendship once you have made the initial introduction. Step back and let them communicate and bond at their own pace. Some connections take time to grow naturally. Check in periodically to see how things are going, but don’t meddle or press them to hang out if they seem hesitant.
Consider Interest-Based Facebook Groups
If your Facebook contacts seem open to new connections in general, recommend some interest-based Facebook groups you are both part of. Say something like, “I think you’d really like the [group name] Facebook group. A lot of people with interests similar to yours are active members.” This exposes them to like-minded people without calling out any individuals.
Weigh Privacy Preferences
Respect people’s comfort levels about connecting on Facebook. Some may be very private and hesitant about receiving recommendations. Others may appreciate the social gesture. Consider mutual friends who you think would react positively, and avoid recommending connections with those who are more reserved.
Focus on Quality over Quantity
It’s better to carefully recommend just a few potentially promising friend connections than bombard all your contacts with suggestions. Don’t randomly combine two people just because you happened to think of them. Take the time to identify friends who you genuinely believe would enrich each other’s lives and strengthen the social community.
Remember, Not Everyone Needs More Friends
While connecting people can be rewarding, not everyone wants or has time for more friends. Even very social people can only maintain so many close connections. And for some introverts, just a few deep friendships are preferred over a wide circle. Consider whether each person would welcome new Facebook friends before recommending.
The Benefits of Connecting Friends on Facebook
While being thoughtful about how you do it is important, recommending mutual Facebook friends also has many potential benefits, including:
Increasing Their Social Support Network
By suggesting two of your contacts become friends, you are helping expand each person’s social circle and support network. This provides them with more people to interact with and bond around shared interests.
Sparking New Friendships
Putting people in touch on Facebook can be the start of an entirely new friendship between them. They may never have crossed paths otherwise and will be grateful you connected them.
Strengthening the Broader Social Community
When people in your social sphere become direct friends rather than just contacts, it strengthens the connections and sense of community within the overall group.
Deepening Relationships
Two of your contacts who only knew each other peripherally can develop a deeper direct bond when you facilitate their Facebook friendship.
Creating Opportunities
New Facebook friends can open up unexpected opportunities for each other, such as job connections, advice, travel companions, and more.
Spreading Positivity
By thoughtfully connecting people you feel would get along well, you help spread friendship and positivity through your extended social network.
How to Recommend Facebook Friends Tactfully
If you decide to recommend two of your contacts become Facebook friends, here are some tips for doing it tactfully:
- Approach each person privately first before directly connecting them
- Explain thoughtfully why you think they would hit it off
- Highlight specific things they have in common
- Use a positive, casual tone – no pressure
- Give them time to consider before following up
- Offer to facilitate an introduction if they’re interested
- Respect their decision if they decline
- Suggest natural ways for them to interact
- Refrain from forcing a friendship after introducing them
When to Reconsider Recommending a Facebook Friend
There are some cases where it may be better to avoid recommending two people become Facebook friends, such as:
- You don’t know either person very well
- They don’t seem to have much in common
- One or both seem like private people
- They have very different personalities that might clash
- Their political or religious views are opposing
- Drama or conflict exists between them or their broader social circles
- One or both have enough friends and may not be interested
- They are ex-romantic partners or one has unrequited feelings
Opening Lines for Recommending Facebook Friends
When reaching out individually to suggest two contacts become Facebook friends, here are some opening lines you can adapt:
- “I think you and [name] would really hit it off and wanted to see if you’d be open to connecting on Facebook.”
- “I noticed you and [name] have [shared interest] in common. I thought you might appreciate me passing along their Facebook info for a potential new friendship!”
- “Knowing you both, I feel like you and [name] would get along great. Let me know if you might be interested in becoming Facebook friends and I can introduce you online.”
- “I wanted to see if it would be ok if I passed along your Facebook info to my friend [name]. You two have a lot in common and I think you’d appreciate connecting.”
Following Up After Recommending Facebook Friends
Here are some polite follow up messages you can send if you don’t get a response after initially recommending two contacts become Facebook friends:
- “Just wanted to check in and see if you had any thoughts about connecting with [name] on Facebook? No worries if you’re not interested, just let me know!”
- “Checking in about potentially becoming Facebook friends with [name]. Want to see if you’d had a chance to think it over or if you had any other questions!”
- “Circleing back on my suggestion that you add [name] on Facebook – don’t want to be a pest, just following up in case the message got lost in the shuffle. No need to connect if you’re not into the idea!”
Accepting Declines Gracefully
If one or both people decline your suggestion to become Facebook friends, here are some gracious replies:
- “No problem at all, thanks for letting me know! I won’t bring it up again.”
- “I appreciate you getting back to me about that – no worries if you’re not feeling it. Just thought I’d throw the idea out there!”
- “Thanks for considering it! No pressure to connect on Facebook at all. I’ll drop the idea since it doesn’t seem like the right fit.”
Conclusion
Recommending mutual Facebook friends can enrich people’s social support networks and lead to great new connections. With care and consideration for everyone’s comfort levels, it can be a thoughtful way to strengthen ties within your extended social community. Keep the focus on quality over quantity, identify promising potential matches, and respect people’s decisions to accept or decline your suggestions.