How to permanently delete Facebook messages so the other person can t see them?

Many Facebook users want to know how to permanently delete Facebook messages so the other person can’t see them. There are a few reasons why you might want to do this:

You sent a message you regret and don’t want the other person to see
You want to delete private/embarrassing messages

You want to delete a conversation thread with someone

Unfortunately Facebook doesn’t allow you to permanently delete messages from both sides of the conversation. When you delete a message, it disappears from your inbox but the other person can still see it in their inbox.

However, there are a few tricks you can use to try to remove messages more permanently. In this guide, I’ll explain the different ways to try to delete Facebook messages so the other person can’t see them.

Delete Message From Your Inbox

The first step is to simply delete the message from your inbox. Here’s how:

Open the Facebook message thread containing the message you want to delete.
Hover over the message and click the “X” icon that appears in the top right corner.

This will open a pop-up asking if you want to delete the message. Click “Delete Message”.
The message will be removed from your inbox but NOT the other person’s inbox.

Deleting a message does not notify the other person that you deleted it. So they may never even realize the message is gone from your view.

However, keep in mind the message still exists in their inbox if they look for it. Let’s look at some other options that might prevent them from seeing the message.

Delete Full Conversation Thread

Instead of just deleting one message, you can choose to delete the entire conversation thread containing the message. Here’s how:

Open the message thread you want to delete.

Click on the name of the person you are chatting with at the top of the thread.
This will open your conversation window with them. Click the gear icon in the upper right.
Select “Delete Conversation” and confirm.

This will completely remove the conversation thread from your inbox. As before, it does not notify the other person or remove it from their inbox.

Deleting an entire thread is better than a single message if you want to remove an entire embarrassing conversation from your view. But it still doesn’t prevent the other person from looking back through their inbox and seeing the conversation.

Delete and Report as Spam

Here is a sneaky trick that might delete the message from the other person’s inbox:

Delete the message from your inbox first.
Go to the message thread and click the gear icon.
Select “Report conversation as spam”.

When you report a conversation as spam, Facebook will sometimes delete that conversation from the other person’s inbox too. This makes it look like you deleted the whole conversation and not just your side.

However, this is not guaranteed to work. Facebook’s spam algorithms will decide if the conversation actually qualifies as spam and needs to be removed entirely. But it’s still worth trying if you really want the messages gone.

Block the Person You Chatted With

Blocking someone on Facebook not only prevents them from contacting you – it can also make your old messages disappear from their inbox. Here’s how to block:

Go to the conversation thread and click the gear icon.
Select “Block [name]”.

In many cases, this will cause all previous messages from you to be deleted from the other person’s inbox. Not 100% guaranteed, but should work in most cases.

The downside is you also lose access to the conversation yourself after blocking them. And they could just unblock you to see the messages again. But if you just want the messages gone from their view, blocking can work.

Use Facebook’s Delete Message Feature

Facebook has actually built a specific “Delete Messages” tool into the platform. Here’s how it works:

Go to your Facebook Activity Log and find the conversation you want to delete.

Click on “Delete this conversation from…” next to the conversation.
This will delete the conversation from both your inbox and the other person’s inbox.

However, this feature has a major catch:

It only works on conversations less than 10 minutes old.

So if you just sent an embarrassing message, you can quickly delete it from both sides. But it won’t work on older conversations.

Still, this is the only built-in Facebook option that deletes a message from both parties. So if you catch your mistake within 10 minutes, it can do the job.

Use a Browser Extension

There are browser extensions like Social Book Post Manager that claim to be able to edit or delete messages in other people’s inboxes.

I don’t recommend using these as they require you to give the extension your Facebook login details. This could risk the privacy and security of your account.

Most free extensions like this are dodgy and some even spread malware. It’s better to avoid them and stick to official Facebook tools.

Ask the Other Person to Delete

If you want a message thread completely wiped from both sides, the only way is to ask the other person to delete their copy of the conversation.

Obviously, this only works if you still have some line of communication with them outside Facebook. You’ll have to trust them to actually go and manually delete it from their inbox.

This is the only reliable way to get a conversation deleted from both accounts if it’s more than 10 minutes old. But it obviously requires the other person’s consent and cooperation.

Delete Your Facebook Account

The nuclear option is to delete your entire Facebook account. When your account is deleted, all messages associated with it should disappear.

However, this will also delete all your other Facebook data and contacts. You have to start your account from scratch if you ever want to use Facebook again.

So only use this method if you’re comfortable deleting your account permanently. And even then, messages may still remain in the other person’s inbox if they saved them outside Facebook.

Can Someone Recover Deleted Facebook Messages?

After deleting Facebook messages, many people wonder if it’s still possible for someone to recover them somehow.

Unfortunately, the answer is yes – in some cases the messages can be recovered. Here are a few ways:

From the recipient’s email notifications – If they have email notifications enabled, the message text will be in the notification email

From the recipient’s inbox – They may have chosen to sync Facebook messages to an email client
From Facebook’s backups – Facebook makes periodic backups that could retain deleted messages
From the recipient’s Facebook Activity Log – Messages may appear under “posts you’re tagged in”

So ultimately, it’s impossible to guarantee a Facebook message is permanently deleted forever unless you control both accounts it was sent between. The recipient could have backups of it somewhere.

Your only options are making recovery as difficult as possible for them, or being upfront and asking them to delete their copies.

Limitations of Deleting Facebook Messages

Now that you know the various methods to try and delete Facebook messages, here are some important limitations to keep in mind:

Messages over 10 minutes old can’t be deleted from both sides, only from your account
The other person may have backups of the messages outside Facebook
Blocking or reporting as spam doesn’t always cause messages to be deleted

You can’t selectively delete certain messages – you can only delete entire conversations
Browser extensions are risky and shouldn’t be trusted

Essentially, you do not have complete power to delete messages the other person has received. You can only control what happens on your own account.

If having the other person unable to retrieve the messages is crucial, don’t send anything over Facebook you wouldn’t want potentially recovered. Or use an expiring/self-destructing message service instead.

Are Deleted Facebook Messages Really Deleted?

When you delete a Facebook message, Facebook claims it is permanently deleted and inaccessible. But is this true?

Based on investigations by security researchers, it appears deleted Facebook messages are not immediately wiped from existence. They continue to persist in backups for a period of time.

Here’s what happens when you delete a Facebook message:

It’s removed from your inbox and marked as deleted in Facebook’s database
It becomes inaccessible to you or anyone else using the Facebook interface

Copies of the message continue to exist in Facebook’s backups and caches
Over time as cache data is overwritten, the copies are slowly deleted
After about 3 months, all cached copies of the message are usually gone

So in reality, deleted Facebook messages can stick around for up to 3 months before being totally purged. But they are practically inaccessible during this time.

This means if a message hasn’t been deleted for very long, there’s a small chance Facebook could recover it from backups. But the longer it’s been deleted, the lower the chances.

Recovering Recently Deleted Messages

As mentioned above, Facebook may be able to recover recently deleted messages from their backups and caches. Here are a couple ways you might get them back:

Recipient’s Activity Log – If the message was sent very recently, you can check their Activity Log for deleted posts.
Facebook Data Download – Request an archive of your Facebook data. Deleted content may appear.
Contact Facebook Support – In some cases Facebook may be able to restore recently deleted messages.

However, none of these are guaranteed to work. Facebook doesn’t actually promise the ability to recover deleted messages. But they provide your best chance if the messages were deleted in the last few days.

If the messages were deleted longer ago, unfortunately you’re unlikely to ever get them back. Facebook’s backup copies get automatically overwritten within months.

Ways People Can Recover Old Deleted Messages

If a Facebook message was deleted long ago, here are some hypothetical ways people could potentially recover it:

From a saved email notification containing the message
If they had previously synced their Facebook messages to an email client
By using data recovery software on an old hard drive containing Facebook files

If they had previously exported their Facebook data archive containing the message
By hacking your Facebook account or the recipient’s account

However, all these methods require the recipient to have gone out of their way to preserve the deleted message previously. And some are highly unethical.

In most cases, the reality is an old deleted Facebook message is likely gone forever unless the recipient saved a copy outside of Facebook before it was deleted.

Can Deleting Facebook Messages Get You in Trouble?

A lot of people worry if trying to delete Facebook messages can get them in trouble. Could Facebook penalize you for it?

The good news is you cannot get in trouble for simply deleting messages or conversations from your own Facebook account. This is perfectly within your rights.

Actions that could get you in hot water:

Trying to hack into someone else’s Facebook to delete their messages
Using shady third-party apps to try and delete other people’s messages

Deleting messages as part of trying to scam or harass someone
Deleting messages to destroy legal evidence

Essentially, you’re in the clear if you stick to deleting your own messages using official Facebook tools. Just don’t go to unethical extremes to delete messages from other people’s accounts without consent.

Best Practices When Deleting Facebook Messages

Here are some best practices to keep in mind when deleting Facebook messages:

Delete as soon as possible – The sooner you delete a message, the fewer backups will exist of it.
Delete the whole conversation – This reduces the context available.

Avoid sending very private messages on Facebook in the first place – They could be retained or recovered by the recipient.
Ask recipients politely to delete any messages you want totally gone – This is the only way to fully control what the recipient can access.
Don’t rely on unethical apps or extensions – Stick to official Facebook deletion tools.

Remember the message may still briefly exist in Facebook’s caches – So don’t delete anything illegal.

Following these tips will help minimize the chances of a deleted message being recovered. But ultimately you need to accept that the recipient may have retained a copy outside of your control.

Conclusion

Deleting Facebook messages from both your account and the other person’s account is ultimately impossible for conversations older than 10 minutes. Within 10 minutes, you can use Facebook’s official “Delete Message” tool.

For any message thread longer than that, you can only delete it from your own account by removing messages or blocking the recipient. However, copies may still exist in the recipient’s account, email records, or Facebook’s temporary cached backups.

The only way to know if the other person still has access is to politely ask them to remove the messages from their side. If having the messages permanently irretrievable is crucial, don’t send them over Facebook messenger in the first place.

While Facebook’s backup copies of deleted messages get removed after approximately 3 months, that window leaves plenty of time for determined recipients to recover messages against your wishes. So think twice before sending anything extremely private on Facebook messenger that you may later regret.