Changing your relationship status on Facebook is a big step for many people. While you may want to share the news of a new relationship or breakup with close friends and family, not everyone needs to know your personal details. Unfortunately, Facebook’s default settings notify all of your friends when you change your relationship status. If you want to avoid a public announcement, you’ll need to change your privacy settings first.
Why Would You Want to Change Your Relationship Status Privately?
There are a few common reasons why someone might want to change their relationship status more discreetly:
- You just started dating someone new and want to keep it more low-key at first
- You broke up but don’t want to deal with everyone’s reactions yet
- You want to avoid hurt feelings if connections see the change before you tell them
- You’re a private person in general and don’t think a relationship status requires a public declaration
The beginning of a new relationship or the aftermath of a breakup can be emotional. Changing your status privately gives you space to process it all before informing everyone. It also avoids any potential drama if friends and family find out along with your wider social network.
How to Change Your Relationship Status Without Notifying Friends
If you want to change your relationship status on Facebook without alerting all your connections, here are the steps:
- Go to your profile page and click on your current relationship status. This expands a dropdown menu.
- Choose the new status you want from the available options. For example, select “In a Relationship” if that reflects your new status.
- A popup window appears previewing your new relationship status. Click the audience selector that says “Public.”
- Change the audience to “Only Me” to keep your new status completely private.
- Click “Confirm” to save the new privacy setting and relationship status change.
And that’s it! Your relationship status is now updated on your profile without sending a notification to any of your friends. The change is only visible to you when you’re logged into your account.
Changing Other Privacy Settings on Facebook
In addition to your relationship status, you may want to review other privacy settings while you’re at it. Here are some to consider:
Future Posts
When writing a new Facebook post, you can choose who sees it. Rather than defaulting to Public, you may want to switch the audience to Friends instead. This makes all future posts visible only to people you’re connected to rather than everyone.
Photo Privacy
Facebook Photos have similar audience settings. Navigate to Photos, Albums, then Privacy Shortcuts. Here you can change the privacy of all your past photo uploads.
Timeline Review
Head to your Activity Log and scan your past posts. You may find some you no longer want public. Hover over them and use the audience selector to limit old posts.
Location Services
Go to Settings & Privacy > Location Services. Turn location history and location information in posts off for more privacy.
Blocking Apps and Websites
Under Settings & Privacy > Apps and Websites, you can control what third-parties access your Facebook information. Remove access for any unnecessary apps or sites.
Should You Update Your Bio?
In addition to your relationship status, you may want to consider updating your Facebook bio while you’re at it. This is the short “About Me” section on your profile.
If your bio mentions being in a relationship or describes your now ex, consider changing it. You don’t have to go into specifics. Simply delete the parts about your romantic life and leave info about yourself.
When to Change Your Status Back to Public
Once you’ve made a private change to your Facebook relationship status, when should you reveal it publicly? Here are some tips on timing:
- Wait at least 1-2 weeks for a new relationship before going public. Give yourself some time to process privately first.
- Consider waiting 1-2 months after a breakup. Give yourself ample time to heal before updating everyone.
- If it’s positive news, wait until after informing close friends and family.
- If it’s negative news, tell inner circle connections first before notifying acquaintances.
There’s no right timeframe. Go at your own pace and make the status public once you feel ready for the world to know.
How Friends and Family May React
While delaying a public relationship status change gives you more control, some people in your inner circle may still react. Here’s how friends and family members may respond if they find out your news late:
- Confusion: They may feel out of the loop and wonder why you didn’t tell them sooner.
- Curiosity: People tend to be intrigued by relationship news and changes.
- Concern: They may worry the change means you’re struggling in some way.
- Hurt: Close connections could feel offended you didn’t confide in them.
To avoid negative reactions, be proactive. Let inner circle friends know first before they find out another way. Explain you’re keeping the change private temporarily. True friends will understand.
Other Ways to Announce a Relationship Change
Once you’re ready to reveal relationship news more widely, do you have to make it Facebook official? Not necessarily. Here are alternative ways to share the update:
Text Friends Individually
For close ties, texting allows you to tailor the news to each person. You can even add some context about why you didn’t update them sooner.
Send a Group Text
If there are several friends you want to inform together, a group text lets you notify them simultaneously.
Call People
Hearing your voice can make the news feel more personal. Consider calling a few key people if you want to announce it more intimately.
Tell People in Person
If possible, sharing the news face-to-face can be meaningful. Prioritize in-person conversations with extremely close ties.
Write a Post
Once you’ve told people privately, posting about the relationship change lets you share it in your own words.
There are many options besides instantly updating your Facebook status. Use the method that feels right for each relationship.
Should You Delete Relationship Status Entirely?
What if you don’t want your relationship status public at all? Another option is deleting it from your profile altogether. Here’s what to consider:
- Without a stated status, people may make assumptions about why you removed it.
- You’ll need to update your bio to remove any mentions of a partner.
- It gives you complete privacy but removes a social feature from your profile.
Some people choose to display no relationship status as their preference. But others may find it raises more questions than it answers.
How to Handle Questions About Your Status
Whether you update your relationship status privately or delete it, some friends may still ask questions. They may inquire about your status if they notice a change or see your status is hidden. Here are some ways to handle their curiosity:
- Say you prefer to keep some things private on social media right now.
- Let them know you’ll share more about your status when you feel ready.
- Inform only very close ties and ask them to keep it confidential.
- Reply you made some updates for privacy reasons but it’s not something you want to discuss in detail.
- Simply say it’s personal and change the subject or leave the conversation.
You have a right to privacy. Don’t feel pressured to reveal anything you don’t want to. True friends will respect your boundaries.
Pros of a Private Relationship Status Change
Updating your relationship status privately has many benefits. Here are some of the pros:
- You control who finds out and when.
- Avoids everyone learning news before you’re ready.
- Gives you space to process the change on your own.
- Allows informing close ties first and explaining the situation.
- Prevents acquaintances from asking nosy questions right away.
- Lets you announce it on your own terms later.
The main advantage is choosing who needs to know immediately. Not everyone is entitled to details about your love life.
Cons of a Private Relationship Status Change
There are some potential downsides to consider as well:
- Connections may feel hurt if they find out late.
- Can seem secretive if you don’t explain why it’s private.
- Friends may think you don’t trust them if they aren’t told sooner.
- Romantic partner may want the news public right away.
- Overthinking privacy settings during an emotional time.
- Having to justify your private settings to some people.
Tread carefully if avoiding a public declaration right away could seem like hiding something. Be ready to reassure loved ones it’s not personal.
Should You Display Your Status Publicly?
What if you do want to share your relationship news? Here are some benefits of a public status:
- Lets you announce it in your own words.
- Avoids answering the same questions from everyone separately.
- Feels open and honest.
- Allows connections to celebrate or support you.
- Can strengthen bonds when people learn your news firsthand.
Some situations call for celebrating publicly! There’s no need to hide positive life changes from the world.
Just be cautious with posting negatively about an ex. Keep venting and accusations off social media when emotions are raw after a breakup.
How to Announce Your Status
Ready to share your relationship news more widely? Here are tips for announcing it gracefully:
- Inform close friends and family first.
- Change your status when you feel calm and positive.
- Use wording more about yourself rather than someone else.
- Keep it light and casual, no need for strong emotions.
- Express gratitude for supportive people in your life.
People will likely react positively when you share from a place of joy or growth vs bitterness or grief.
Responding to Reactions
Once your relationship status is public, people will start reacting to it. Here are some ways to handle responses gracefully:
- Thank people who post congratulations or well wishes.
- Ignore any critical or judgmental comments.
- Decline questions that feel too personal or nosy.
- If breakup responses make you uncomfortable, limit who can see your posts for a while after changing status.
Stay classy and take the high road if anyone responds negatively. Your closest friends will have your back.
Conclusion
Your relationship status on Facebook is entirely your call. Whether you update it publicly right away, choose to keep it private, or remove it entirely, do what feels right for you. The beginning or end of a relationship is an emotional time. Use privacy settings to protect your mental health if needed.
Focus on sharing the news in more meaningful ways with loved ones who truly matter. Social media is public, but your personal life requires more discretion. Facebook provides the tools to control your information. Use them to build connections while maintaining your privacy and wellbeing.