Facebook Dating is a new way for people to find meaningful relationships on Facebook. One of the unique features of Facebook Dating is the ability to express interest in friends without notifying them through “Secret Crush.” Here’s a look at how the Secret Crush feature on Facebook Dating works.
What is Secret Crush?
Secret Crush allows Facebook Dating users to select up to nine of their Facebook friends or Instagram followers that they are interested in romantically. Once two people secretly select each other on the list, Facebook Dating will notify both individuals that they have a match. This takes the pressure off having to make the first move.
Who can use Secret Crush?
In order to use Secret Crush on Facebook Dating, you must:
- Be 18 years or older
- Have the most recent version of Facebook
- Have an active Facebook Dating profile
Secret Crush is available in all locations where Facebook Dating has been launched. This includes the United States, Canada, most of Europe, Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore, Argentina, Brazil, Peru, Chile, Bolivia, Ecuador, Paraguay, Uruguay, Guyana, and Laos.
How to add a Secret Crush
Adding a crush to your Secret Crush list is easy. Just follow these steps:
- Open the Facebook Dating tab in your mobile app and tap on the Secret Crush icon (heart inside a lock).
- You will be presented with a list of friends and Instagram followers that meet Facebook Dating criteria. Tap “Add Crush” on any you are interested in romantically.
- You can select up to 9 crushes at one time. Tap “Add to List” when finished.
That’s it! Those friends are now your Secret Crushes. If any of them add you to their Secret Crush list, you will be matched and notified.
Who can you secretly crush on?
Not all Facebook friends or Instagram followers will show up as options for your Secret Crush list. Here are the requirements for someone to be an eligible crush:
- Must be 18 years or older
- Cannot be in a domestic partnership or married
- Cannot have already expressed disinterest in you
- Cannot be closely related to you
In addition, the algorithm only presents friends and followers it believes you may be compatible with based on mutual interests and other factors. So you will not see your entire friend list available as crushes.
Do your crushes know you selected them?
The beauty of Secret Crush is your crushes do not know you added them to your list! They are only notified if they have also added you as a Secret Crush. This takes away the fear of rejection or awkwardness that comes from making the first move.
How do you get notified of a match?
If someone adds you to their Secret Crush list, and you have already added them, you will receive a Facebook Dating match notification saying you both like each other. The notification will come either in your Dating tab, or as a push notification on mobile.
Once matched, you can decide if you want to start a conversation. And don’t worry, even after matching your crush still does not know you originally added them to your list unless you tell them!
Can you match with someone not on your list?
Yes, it is possible to match with someone through Secret Crush that you did not pick. For example:
- You choose Crushes A, B and C
- Crush A chooses you as their #1 pick
- Crush D chooses you as their #3 pick
In this scenario, you would match with both Crush A and Crush D, even though you did not originally select Crush D. The algorithm aims to maximize successful matches.
How long do crushes stay on your list?
Secret crushes remain on your list indefinitely until either you remove them, or they are matched with you. There is no need to constantly update your list. The crushes are there waiting and hoping they match back with you!
Can you see who is on your crush list?
Yes, you can review and edit the list of crushes you have selected at any time. Simply go back into the Secret Crush feature and tap “See List” to view your current crushes. You can remove any as desired.
What happens when you match with a crush?
After matching with a secret crush, that person is automatically added to your Facebook Dating “matches” list. You can then message them as you normally would any other match. If you want to let them know you added them as a Secret Crush, you can, but you are not required to.
Can you get rejected by a secret crush?
No, there is no way to explicitly reject a secret crush within the Facebook Dating platform. Since crushes are secret, your crush would simply not add you to their own list. In this case, you would never match. But there is no notification of rejection sent.
What happens if you delete someone as a crush?
You can remove and add crushes from your list at any time. If you delete someone as a crush, here is what happens:
- They are removed from your crush list immediately
- If they have not yet matched with you, they will never know you picked them
- If you have already matched, removing them does not impact your existing connection
Can your crush see your dating profile?
Never. At no point can a crush see your dating profile or activity on Facebook Dating unless you match. Facebook keeps your dating life completely separate from your Facebook profile and friend connections.
Is Secret Crush appropriate for platonic friends?
Facebook recommends Secret Crush be used strictly for romantic interests. Choosing platonic friends or acquaintances could lead to uncomfortable situations in the future. The feature was designed specifically for pursuing romantic connections.
Can Secret Crush lead to unwanted advances?
Facebook has designed the feature with safety and respect in mind. Since crushes remain secret unless there is a mutual match, it prevents any unwanted one-sided interest. If someone is abusing the feature, you can report them within Facebook Dating.
Does Secret Crush work on Messenger?
No, Secret Crush only works within the Facebook Dating platform. It does not connect with Facebook Messenger or your regular Facebook communication. Think of Facebook Dating and Messenger as completely separate products.
Can you use Secret Crush on Facebook desktop?
Secret Crush is only available on the Facebook mobile app, as the entire Facebook Dating experience is mobile-only. There is no way to see Secret Crushes on desktop at this time.
Is there a limit to Secret Crush matches?
There is no limit to how many Secret Crush matches you can have. You can match with as many mutual crushes as you and other users add each other to lists. While you can only pick 9 crushes at once, you can continuously add new ones as others match.
Can you match with a friend not on Dating?
No. In order to match through Secret Crush, both you and your crush need to have an active Facebook Dating profile. Since your friend lists are not visible within Dating, you will only see and match with other friends who also have Dating set up.
Should you tell your crush it was mutual?
You can choose to tell them or keep it secret forever. Letting them know can be a great icebreaker for your first conversation. But some prefer not to disclose it was mutual and let the relationship progress more naturally.
Can someone secretly crush on you first?
Yes, it is possible for someone to add you as their secret crush before you have added them. In this case, as soon as you add them as your crush too, the mutual match notification will be sent.
Is it possible to match without crushing mutually?
In some rare cases, it is possible for a match to occur between two people who did not expressly pick each other as secret crushes, if the algorithm determines they are highly compatible.
Can you crush on friends of friends?
No, Secret Crush only works for your 1st degree Facebook friends or Instagram followers. It does not work for extended friends of friends or strangers.
Are Secret Crushes notified if you remove them?
No. When you remove someone from your Secret Crush list, they will never know you added them in the first place.
Conclusion
Facebook Dating’s Secret Crush feature provides an exciting new way to connect romantically online. By privately selecting friends you’re interested in, it removes the risk and stress of making the first move. And matching only occurs if the interest is mutual, preventing any awkward one-sided situations. While not a replacement for traditional dating site functions, Secret Crush provides a uniquely seamless solution for finding partners you may never have discovered otherwise.