Having your picture taken and shared online or with others can be fun and exciting. However, there may come a time when you change your mind and want certain pictures removed. Asking someone to delete a picture you no longer want shared can feel awkward, but is usually manageable with empathy and understanding.
Why You Might Want a Photo Deleted
There are a few common reasons why someone might want their photo deleted:
- The photo is unflattering or embarrassing
- The context of the photo has changed (e.g. an old boyfriend)
- You’re concerned about privacy or security
- The photo was shared without your consent
- The photo is being used in a way you’re not comfortable with
Whatever the reason, you have a right to request deletion of photos you don’t want out there. The person who took or shared the photo should respect your wishes once made aware.
How to Ask Someone to Delete Your Picture
When asking someone to delete your picture, keep these tips in mind:
- Be direct yet kind – Clearly state that you want the photo deleted, but avoid sounding accusatory.
- Explain why – Providing your reasons helps the person understand where you’re coming from.
- Suggest alternatives – Is there another photo you would be comfortable with them using instead?
- Give a deadline – Request they delete the photo within a specific timeframe (e.g. 24 hours).
- Follow up – Check in after your deadline to ensure they have deleted it.
Here are some examples of how to ask politely and firmly:
Casual Acquaintance
“Hey Jane, some friends recently pointed out that unflattering photo you took of me last year. I’d really appreciate it if you could delete it from your phone and any social media. I’m a bit self-conscious about it. Please let me know once it’s gone. Thanks for understanding!”
Close Friend
“I’ve been reflecting lately and am not comfortable with that revealing bikini pic you posted from our trip. Could you please remove it from your Instagram and any other sites by tomorrow? I would be mortified if family saw it. I’ll send you some more flattering ones you can use instead. Let me know when it’s down please.”
Significant Other
“Babe, I noticed you still have photos of your ex on your phone and computer. I know you say you forgot about them, but I feel uncomfortable knowing they’re still there. Please do me the favor of deleting any old girlfriend photos within the next 24 hours. I only want pics of me and us together going forward. I appreciate you doing this for me.”
Employer
“Hi Mr. Jones, I wanted to request deleting the promotional headshot you took of me last year. My appearance and style have changed a lot, so I don’t feel it represents me well anymore. I’m happy to schedule a time to retake an updated photo this week if needed. Please confirm once it’s been removed from the company website and any print materials. Thank you for understanding.”
What to Do if They Refuse
Hopefully the person will promptly honor and respect your request to delete the photo. However, if they refuse or push back, you can take a few additional steps:
- Clearly restate your request and reasons
- Mention it makes you uncomfortable or sad knowing the photo still exists
- Suggest involving a mutually trusted friend to mediate
- For published photos, look into formal removal or privacy complaints
- For serious cases, consider legal action like a cease and desist letter
Getting authorities involved likely won’t be necessary in most reasonable cases. But it’s always an option if the person simply won’t budge on removing the photo.
When You’re the One Asked to Delete a Photo
The table below outlines best practices to follow if someone asks you to delete a photo you took or shared of them:
| Do: | Don’t: |
|---|---|
|
|
Respecting someone’s wish to have their photo removed, even if you don’t fully agree or understand, is the righteous thing to do. Rebuilding trust is possible when you show the person you honor their boundaries.
What to Do If It’s Already Gone Viral
Unfortunately, once photos are uploaded to social media sites and shared widely, deleting can become near impossible. If the photo you want removed has already gone viral:
- Contact the platform to request removing the original post
- Ask friends/followers to remove any shares
- Use a service like Google Remove to de-index search results
- Consider consulting a reputation management professional
- Continue producing positive content to bury the photo over time
While not foolproof, taking these steps can help minimize the reach and visibility of the unwanted photo. Acting swiftly gives you the best chance before it spreads too far.
Conclusion
Asking someone to delete an undesired photo they took or posted of you can seem daunting. However, in most cases, the person will quickly comply when approached respectfully. Focus on communicating your reasons calmly, offering alternatives, and following up to confirm deletion. With empathy and patience, you can successfully have the photo removed while still maintaining positive relations.