How do I permanently delete my Facebook messages on both sides?

Deleting Facebook messages can be tricky, especially if you want to delete them permanently on both sides of the conversation. When you delete a message on Facebook, it is removed from your view of the conversation but may still be visible to the recipient. There are a few different options for permanently deleting Facebook messages, depending on your specific needs.

Deleting Messages from Your Side

The easiest way to delete Facebook messages is to simply delete them from your inbox. Here’s how:

1. Open the Facebook app on your phone or go to www.facebook.com on a computer.
2. Open the conversation with the message(s) you want to delete.
3. Tap and hold or right click on the message.
4. Select “Delete” from the menu that pops up.

This will immediately delete the message from your view of the conversation. However, it will still be visible to the person you were messaging. The message will say “This message was deleted” on their side of the conversation.

Deleting Full Conversations

If you want to delete a whole conversation from your inbox, you can do that too:

1. Open your inbox on mobile or desktop.
2. Tap and hold or right click on the conversation you want to delete.
3. Select “Delete conversation” from the menu.
4. Confirm that you want to delete the conversation.

This will completely delete the conversation from your inbox. As before, the messages will still be visible from the recipient’s side, but your side of the chat will be erased.

Deleting Messages for Both Parties

If you want to permanently delete a Facebook message for both you and the recipient, the process is a bit more involved but still doable. Here are a couple options:

Report the Message

The easiest way to try and delete a Facebook message from both sides is to report the message to Facebook. Here’s how:

1. Open the conversation with the message you want gone.
2. Select the message bubble you want to report.
3. Tap or click the three dots icon in the top right corner.
4. Select “Report message”.
5. Choose “I don’t like this message” as the reason.

Once reported, Facebook will review the message. If they agree it violates their rules, they may delete the message from both your account and the recipient’s account. However, there is no guarantee the message will actually get removed.

Ask the Recipient to Delete

Another option is to simply ask the person you were messaging to delete their copy of the conversation. If they voluntarily remove the messages from their account, it will be like the conversation never happened.

Keep in mind that the recipient is under no obligation to delete messages if you ask. But if you explain why you want the messages removed, they may be willing to oblige and delete the chat from their inbox as well.

Use Facebook Data Settings

In your Facebook settings, you have some limited ability to delete old messages from your account and your recipient’s account. Here’s how it works:

1. Go to Settings & Privacy > Settings.
2. Click “Your Facebook Information” in the left menu.
3. Select “Messages” from the different types of data Facebook has.
4. Click “View Messages”.
5. Use the box next to “Messages” to change the date range of messages shown.
6. Click the box next to specific conversations to select them.
7. Click “Delete Selection” and confirm.

However, there are severe limitations here. You can only delete full conversations (not single messages) and only those sent within the last 30 days. So this is really only useful for very recent conversations.

Why Deleted Messages May Still Appear

In some cases, you may go through the steps to delete Facebook messages but find they still appear in your or your recipient’s conversation. There are a few reasons this can happen:

• The messages were sent longer than 30 days ago. Facebook data settings only allow deleting conversations from the past month.
• Your recipient has synced their Facebook messages to an email or messaging app like WhatsApp. The messages may still reside in those linked accounts.
• The messages were deleted but later recovered. On Messenger, recipients can “unsend” a deleted message to recover it if done shortly after deletion.
• You or the recipient have a third-party app connected to Facebook that caches messages externally. The deleted messages may still show in that app’s history.

So while you can delete Facebook messages from your account, true permanent deletion is difficult to guarantee. The best approach is to be careful about what you send in the first place!

How to Manage Your Facebook Conversations

If you can’t permanently erase messages, the next best thing is diligently managing your Facebook conversations. Here are some tips:

• Pause conversation history – Prevent messages from being saved in chat history to begin with by turning off history in conversation settings.
• Clean up old messages – Go through your inbox and delete embarrassing or unnecessary old chats.
• Don’t send sensitive info – Be very careful about sharing private details over Facebook messenger where they could come back to haunt you.
• Limit third-party apps – Don’t give apps rights to access your Facebook messages unless absolutely necessary.
• Ask chat partners to delete messages – If there’s something sensitive you need removed, politely ask the recipient to delete it and not share it further.

What About Deleted Facebook Posts and Comments?

Messages are not the only thing you may want to delete from Facebook. You may also want to remove old posts, photos, videos or comments.

As with messages, deleting these removes them from your perspective but not necessarily others’. However there is a “Limit Past Posts” tool that lets you change the visibility of old posts to only yourself. Here is how to use it:

1. Go to your Facebook profile and click on the three dot Settings menu in the top right.
2. Choose “Settings & Privacy” then click “Settings”.
3. Click “Your Facebook information” in the left sidebar.
4. Select “Limit Past Posts” under the “Your Information” header.
5. Adjust the toggle for “Limit Old Posts” to change visibility of past content.

This tool essentially lets you curate your visible Facebook profile, hiding older posts under the selected date from public view. You can hide all old posts, posts older than a year, older than 6 months, older than 3 months, or keep everything visible. It’s handy for controlling your public Facebook presence.

What About Deleted Likes and Reactions?

When you delete a like or reaction from a Facebook post or comment, it is immediately removed from public view. But it may still be visible to the content creator in their post insights and notifications. There is no way to permanently erase these activities from their perspective once you’ve interacted with a post.

Conclusion

While Facebook provides profile management tools, permanent deletion of messages, posts, and interactions is difficult if not impossible in many cases. The most reliable way to keep embarrassing or sensitive content off Facebook is to be extremely careful about what you share and engage with in the first place. Assume anything you write or upload could be saved, seen by someone, or come back to haunt you later.

That said, responsibly deleting content when possible, limiting app connections, and asking recipients to remove messages can help minimize your digital footprint. Just don’t expect that anything on Facebook ever truly “goes away” once shared.

Manage your presence carefully, think twice before posting, and utilize privacy settings to keep your current and past Facebook activity contained. With some forethought and diligence, you can maintain the content you want visible and reduce the rest.