Facebook friend requests allow you to connect with new people on Facebook and expand your social network. Here are some tips on how to send friend requests properly and avoid coming across as spammy when trying to add new friends on Facebook.
Should I Send a Friend Request or Follow Someone?
If you don’t know someone personally but want to connect with them on Facebook, you have two options – send them a friend request or follow their public updates. Here are the differences:
- Sending a friend request allows the person to see your timeline and posts if they accept. Following someone only lets you see their public posts and information.
- Friend requests should ideally only be sent to people you know personally. Following is better for people you don’t know but want to get updates from.
- You can follow someone without their approval but a friend request needs to be accepted before you are connected.
So in most cases, if you don’t know someone, following them is better than sending a friend request. If you do know them, a friend request is appropriate.
How to Send a Friend Request
Sending a friend request on Facebook is easy – just search for the person’s profile, click the “Add Friend” button and you’re done. Here are some tips for sending effective friend requests:
- Personalize the request with a message so the person knows why you want to connect.
- Refresh the person’s memory of who you are if you only briefly met them before.
- If a mutual friend can introduce you online first, that gives context.
- Only send a request if you have a real reason to connect with this person.
- Don’t spam friend requests to strangers or people you barely know.
Who Should I Send Friend Requests To?
As a general rule, only send Facebook friend requests to people you know personally and have met in real life. Good cases for sending a friend request include:
- Friends and family
- Current coworkers
- Classmates
- Members of groups or clubs you are both part of
- Someone you recently met and had a substantial conversation with
- A friend of a friend who your mutual friend can introduce you to online first
Avoid sending friend requests to:
- Strangers
- People you met very briefly once
- Someone who has no idea who you are
- Acquaintances who you haven’t seen in years
- Prospects, clients, or business networking contacts – connect on LinkedIn instead
How Often Should I Send Friend Requests?
There is no rule for how often you can send friend requests, but here are some guidelines:
- When you first join Facebook, you’ll likely send out a batch of requests to build up your network.
- After that initial push, only send requests periodically as you meet new people.
- Aim for quality over quantity – focus on people you truly want to connect with.
- Don’t spam requests – if you send too many, you risk being blocked.
Spread out sending new requests over time and avoid blasting out bulk requests. Try connecting with 1-2 new friends per week or so.
Should I Send a Message With My Friend Request?
Personalizing your friend requests with a message can be helpful in many cases. Here are some tips on when to include a message:
- If you only briefly met the person, remind them who you are or where you met them.
- If a mutual friend is making the online introduction, mention that.
- Wish them a happy birthday if you see it is their birthday that day.
- If you have something specific in common, mention your shared interest.
- Keep the message friendly and casual – 2-3 sentences at most.
However, you don’t need to include a message if:
- You know the person well already.
- They will clearly remember who you are.
- You don’t have anything additional relevant to say.
Use your best judgment on when a message is needed or not.
What Happens If Someone Declines My Friend Request?
If someone declines your friend request, don’t take it personally. Here are some common reasons requests get declined or ignored:
- The person limits Facebook connections to people they know really well.
- They prefer to keep work contacts separate from personal friends.
- Your request got lost in a flood of notifications and they missed it.
- They are reducing their Facebook friend count and being more selective.
If you feel it is a case of them just missing the notification, you can send one reminder request. But if they decline again, it’s best to respect their wishes and not re-send the request. Find other ways to connect with them professionally instead.
Should I Send a Follow-Up Message After a Declined Request?
Generally, no. If someone declines your friend request, sending a follow-up message can come across as desperate or irritated. Avoid following up declined requests with:
- Asking them why they declined
- Pressuring them to accept you as a friend
- Pleading with them to reconsider
Harassing them about a declined request could even lead to being reported or blocked. It’s better to gracefully move on if your request is rejected. If they change their mind later, they can always send you a new friend request.
Can I Resend a Friend Request That Was Declined?
While you can technically send a friend request again after being declined, it’s best not to unless you have a compelling reason why your situation has changed. Some cases where resending could be appropriate include:
- After connecting offline at an event where you both realized you had a lot in common
- If you both joined the same club and are now active members together
- If a mutual friend informs them that you are not actually strangers
In general though, avoid pestering someone who already rejected your request. Accept their decision and connect through other means if possible.
Is There a Limit to How Many Friend Requests I Can Send?
Facebook doesn’t publish an official limit on how many friend requests you can send in total or per day. However, they do have spam detection systems that can temporarily block you from sending requests if your behavior seems abusive. Some general guidelines include:
- Keep your total friend list under 5,000 connections.
- Aim to add no more than 100 new friends per week.
- Only send a few requests per day at most.
- Personalize each request – don’t blast out generic invites.
As long as you send requests in moderation to people you genuinely want to connect with, you likely won’t hit any limits.
Can Someone See If I Rejected Their Friend Request?
No, when you reject a friend request on Facebook, the sender is not notified or told that you rejected it specifically. They will simply see that the request is still pending on their end.
Some things to note about rejecting requests:
- The requester isn’t informed but may be able to guess if it’s still pending after a long time.
- You can send a private message to explain if you want.
- Repeatedly rejecting requests from the same person could be interpreted as harassment.
In most cases, simply letting the unwanted request sit is the easiest approach. Or you can delete it if you don’t want to be reminded of the request again later.
Should I Message Someone I Rejected a Friend Request From?
You don’t need to message someone when you reject their friend request, as Facebook does not notify them. But in some cases, an explanation can be polite if approached properly:
- If they are an acquaintance you want to maintain a connection with, suggest following each other instead of being friends.
- Kindly explain you are reducing your friend list but are open to connecting professionally on LinkedIn.
- Offer to chat on Messenger if you want to continue the conversation.
Avoid harsh rejections like “I don’t friend strangers” – just let the request expire quietly instead. Only message if you want to preserve the relationship.
What’s the Difference Between a Friend Request and a Follow Request?
Here is an overview of the differences between friend and follow requests on Facebook:
| Friend Request | Follow Request |
|---|---|
| Becomes friends if accepted | Follows public updates if accepted |
| Both people see each other’s posts | Only you see their posts |
| Should know each other personally | Can be sent to people you don’t know |
| Shows up under Friends list | Shows up under Following list |
| Can privately message | Can’t privately message unless also friends |
In summary, friend requests create a two-way connection for posting and messaging. Following just subscribes you to their public updates without them seeing your profile.
Should I Send a Follow Request or Friend Request to a Stranger?
If you want to connect with someone you don’t know personally on Facebook, a follow request is better than a friend request in most cases. Here’s why:
- Doesn’t require them to approve in order to see their public updates.
- Lets you demonstrate common interests and values before connecting as friends.
- Gives them a chance to learn who you are organically.
- Followers can be easily muted or blocked if unwanted.
Friend requests from strangers can come across as invasive since they ask to see private content right away. Get to know them publicly first by following their updates.
Should I Follow Someone I Want to Date?
Following someone you’re interested in dating is generally fine, but friend requesting them right away can be seen as too aggressive. Here are some tips on using Facebook connections for dating:
- Initially follow them to observe their public updates and get a sense of their personality.
- Comment on their posts to start friendly interactions.
- After following each other for a while, then friend requesting can feel more natural.
- Take it off Facebook by messaging them and asking if they’d like to chat on the phone or meet up.
Following first establishes a casual online connection that can gradually build up to a friendship and eventually a romantic relationship.
How Do I Politely Ask Someone Why They Declined My Friend Request?
If you want to reach out to ask why someone rejected your friend request, do so tactfully. Here are some tips to politely follow up:
- Send them a private message rather than a public post.
- Don’t demand a reason, but say you’re open to hearing why if they want to share.
- Accept that they may not want to connect right now for personal reasons.
- Suggest following each other for now if they prefer looser ties.
- Don’t retaliate or shame them – remain cordial.
Harassing someone about a rejected request can come across as bitter. Be gracious if they decline your inquiry about why they didn’t accept.
What to Do If Someone You Blocked Sends You a Friend Request
If someone you previously blocked sends you a new friend request, they won’t know you blocked them. You have a few options in this situation:
- Quietly ignore the request and let it expire.
- Block them again which will automatically decline any pending requests.
- Message them asking not to contact you again and then block.
- Report them to Facebook if the requests become harassing.
Don’t engage with someone you intentionally blocked – simply re-block them or report them if the behavior persists. Safety first.
Conclusion
Sending Facebook friend requests can be tricky, but following basic etiquette rules helps maintain your reputation. To recap, personalize requests thoughtfully, only send them to people you actually know, and respect denials gracefully. With some care and common sense, you can make positive online connections through friend requesting.