Can you get messages on Facebook if you are not friends with someone?

Quick Answer

Yes, it is possible to get messages on Facebook from people you are not friends with. There are a few ways this can happen:

Someone can send you a message request that will go to your Message Requests folder. You can choose to accept it or delete it.
If you are in a Group with someone, they can message you through the Group even if you are not friends.

If you are tagged in a post or comment by someone, they will be able to message you even if not friends.
People you are not friends with can comment on your public posts and tag you, allowing a message.

So in summary, while being friends allows more open messaging, there are still ways for non-friends to send you messages which you can control via your settings.

Receiving Message Requests

The most common way to get a message from someone you are not friends with on Facebook is through Message Requests. This is a separate folder that contains messages from non-friends that need your approval.

Here is how Message Requests work:

When a non-friend sends you a message, it will go to your Message Requests folder.

You will get a notification that you have a new message request.
You can choose to accept the message request, which will move the conversation to your normal inbox.
Or you can delete and ignore the request so you never get a message from that person.

You can adjust your settings to have message requests filtered by criteria like pages you’ve liked.

So this gives you control over messages from non-friends. They can send them but you decide whether to engage and move the chat to your inbox or ignore it.

Message requests are a way Facebook balances privacy while still allowing some interaction between non-friends.

Managing Your Message Requests

Here are some tips for managing your Facebook message requests:

Check them regularly so they don’t build up.
Turn on filtering to auto-delete requests with certain criteria.

Don’t accept requests from people you don’t know or seem suspicious.
You can turn off message requests in your settings if you don’t want them.
Delete requests once you’ve decided not to accept them.

Accept requests from people you want to have an open conversation with.

Staying on top of your message requests helps ensure you see messages from people you want to talk to while avoiding unwanted spam.

Messaging Through Groups

Another way you can get a message from someone you are not friends with is through a Facebook Group.

If you are both members of the same Facebook Group, you can message each other through the Group even if you are not friends on your main Facebook profiles.

When messaged through a Group, the conversation will appear in your Messenger inbox like normal. You don’t have to do anything to accept these messages.

Some things to keep in mind about messaging through Groups:

Anyone in the Group can message anyone else in the Group.
You can leave the Group to stop receiving messages from its members.
Group admins can restrict who can message within a Group.

The Group admin can see messages between members sent within the Group.

So if you want to limit who can message you through Groups, pay attention to which Groups you join and their privacy settings around messaging.

Group Messaging Settings

Group admins have a few options to control messaging within their Facebook Groups:

Allow all members to message freely with each other.
Restrict messaging so posts have to be approved first.
Only allow certain members like admins to post messages.

Completely disable messaging within the Group if desired.

As a Group member, you can always leave if you are getting messages you don’t want. But Group admins have more power through these settings.

Messaging When Tagged

When someone tags you in a post or comment on Facebook, they gain the ability to message you even if you are not friends.

This works because tagging notifies you and creates a connection between you and the person who tagged you.

Here is how messaging when tagged works:

Someone tags you in a post, photo, comment, etc on Facebook.

This gives them the option to Message below that post.
If they click Message, they can send you a message through Messenger.
You don’t have to approve their message request. It will appear directly in your inbox.

So through tagging, people you don’t know can potentially reach out and message you on Facebook.

Managing Tags

Here are some ways to manage messaging when tagged on Facebook:

Adjust your settings to review tags before they appear on your profile.

Untag yourself from posts you don’t want to be associated with.
If you get an unwanted message after being tagged, block the user.
Restrict who can see posts you’re tagged in via your privacy settings.

Turn off the ability for viewers to post on your Facebook posts.

While being tagged does open up messaging, by managing tags and their visibility you can reduce this avenue for unwanted contact.

Comment Messaging

The final way someone you are not friends with can potentially message you on Facebook is by commenting on your public posts.

When someone comments on one of your public Facebook posts or photos, they will get the option to Message you through Messenger, even if you are not friends.

This works similar to being tagged – by interacting on your content, the commenter establishes a connection that allows them to reach out.

Preventing Comment Messages

Here are some ways to prevent people from messaging you after commenting:

Turn commenting off for some posts or restrict it to friends only.
Moderate your comments more strictly by deleting ones from strangers.
Adjust your overall privacy settings to limit who can see your public content.

Disable the ability for viewers to post on your posts entirely.
Block anyone who messages you inappropriately after commenting.

Proactively managing your privacy settings, commenting, and moderation can help prevent unwanted contact through public post comments.

Messaging Non-Friends on Facebook

The focus has been on getting messages from non-friends, but it is also possible for you to message people you are not connected with on Facebook.

Here are some ways you can message people you are not friends with:

Send them a friend request which will open up messaging.

Comment on their public posts to get the Message option.
Tag them in your own posts or content which enables messaging.
Join a common Group you are both members of and message through there.

Send them a message request so they can choose to open the conversation.

When messaging non-friends, always respect their privacy. Don’t bombard them with messages if they do not respond.

Should You Accept Messages from Strangers?

Getting a Facebook message from someone you don’t know can be confusing. Should you accept it and see what they want? Or ignore and delete it?

Here are some tips on deciding what to do:

If the message seems suspicious, spammy, or threatening, delete it.
Generic messages like “Hi!” with no context can also be ignored.

However, sometimes people have a legitimate reason for contacting you.
Look at their profile and see if you have any common connections or reasons to talk.
Accept the message if you think a conversation could be interesting or beneficial.

But be cautious sharing personal information with strangers.
You can always block them later if needed.

Use your best judgment. There are valid reasons to accept messages from people you don’t know yet. But protect your privacy and ignore clearly unwelcome contact attempts.

Settings to Control Non-Friend Messaging

In your Facebook settings, you have options to control how and when you can be contacted by people you are not friends with.

Here are some of the key settings related to messages from non-friends:

Who Can Send You Friend Requests – Adjust criteria like friends of friends.

Who Can See Your Friends List – Limit visibility to control tagging/contact.
Review Tags People Add to Your Posts – Approve tags before visible.
Who Can Post on Your Public Profile – Disable non-friends posting.

Who Can Comment on Your Public Posts – Limit commenting to friends.
Who Can See Your Future Posts – Control who interacts with your posts.

Adjusting these to be more restrictive can reduce unwanted contact. But you need to balance that with having an open profile.

More Related Settings

Some other Facebook settings related to messaging from non-friends include:

Block Messages Filter – Automatically filter unwanted messages.
View Messages from Friends Only – Self-explanatory option.

Group Privacy Settings – Control who can post in your Groups.
Turn Off Message Requests – Prevent all non-friend requests.
Ignore Messages with Certain Words – Customize an auto-block filter.

Take the time to thoroughly explore your Facebook settings and privacy options to have control over non-friend messaging.

Should You Message Non-Friends?

The other side of this is reaching out and messaging people you don’t know on Facebook. There are situations where this can be appropriate, but there are also risks.

Here are some tips on messaging non-friends:

If you have a legitimate reason to make a new connection, send them a friend request first.
Only message non-friends you have something in common with or a reason to talk.
Avoid messaging random beautiful women on Facebook just because you find them attractive.

Don’t ambush non-friends with long, overly personal messages out of the blue.
Respect it if someone doesn’t respond and don’t harass them with more messages.
Wish them well and move on if they decline your friend request.

The key is to not abuse Facebook messaging to spam or creep on strangers. Be respectful and understand some may not wish to talk.

Messaging Etiquette with Non-Friends

When messaging someone you don’t know on Facebook, extra care should be taken to be polite and establish a connection.

Here are some Facebook messaging etiquette tips:

Introduce yourself and explain why you want to talk in your first message.
Refer to any common ground or Facebook connections you share.
Ask open-ended questions to get to know them.

Let the conversation flow naturally and don’t overshare.
Respect their boundaries and privacy.
Don’t get clingy or obsessive if they are slow to respond.

Graciously accept it if they don’t seem interested in talking.

Patience and manners go a long way. You are much more likely to make a new Facebook friend by being friendly versus too pushy or eager.

In Summary…

While you can get messages on Facebook from non-friends, you have controls such as:

Message requests that you must accept before chatting.
Ability to leave Groups or adjust settings to limit Group messaging.
Managing tagging on your profile and posts.

Limiting comments and viewers of your public content.

It is certainly possible for non-friends to contact you, but not freely without some form of approval or action on your part. Be cautious when chatting with strangers, but don’t be afraid to make new connections if you have common interests and reasons to talk. With the proper privacy settings and messaging etiquette, you can have positive experiences messaging people you don’t already know on Facebook.