Changing your Facebook relationship status is a big step for many people in a romantic relationship. While some are excited to broadcast their new relationship status to all their friends and family on Facebook, others may prefer to keep it more private during the early stages of dating someone new.
The good news is that Facebook does provide options for changing your relationship status without notifying all your friends or making it public on your profile. Here are some tips on how to change your Facebook relationship status discreetly.
Make Your Relationship Status Private
The easiest way to change your relationship status without anyone knowing is to set your relationship status to “private” instead of “public.” Here’s how:
- Go to your Facebook profile
- Click on your current relationship status below your cover photo
- Select “Edit Settings” next to your relationship status
- Change the audience selector from “Public” to “Only Me”
This will allow you to change your relationship status to anything you want – married, engaged, in a relationship, or even single – without broadcasting it to anyone else on Facebook. Only you can see your private relationship status.
Adjust Your Privacy Settings
You can also limit who gets notified about your relationship status change with Facebook’s privacy settings:
- Go to “Settings” then “Privacy”
- Click on “Edit” under “Who can see your future posts?”
- Uncheck any friends or lists you don’t want to notify about relationship changes
This will prevent certain people from getting notified about your new status or seeing it appear in their News Feed. You can be selective about who finds out right away.
Change It and Immediately Make Another Post
Another sneaky trick is to change your relationship status and immediately make another post right after, such as sharing a photo, Check-in, or status update. This floods the News Feed and pushes down your relationship status change, making it less visible to others.
Use a Life Event Instead
If you don’t want to outright change your relationship status, you can also post a new “Life Event” to subtly imply you are dating someone new. For example, you could add a life event like “Started seeing someone,” “In a relationship,” or “Started dating [person’s name].”
This allows you to share the news on your own terms without officially changing your profile relationship status. Friends can Like or comment on your Life Event without it appearing in their main News Feed.
Wait Until You’re Facebook Official
If you really want to keep new relationship details off of Facebook altogether, simply wait until you and your partner are ready to be “Facebook official” before changing it. There’s no rule saying you have to update relationship status immediately. Give yourself time to see how the relationship progresses before informing all of Facebook.
Create a List to Limit Status Updates
You can also make a list of friends that you want to share your relationship status with. When you update your status, choose the option to limit it to that list rather than all friends. Here’s how to create a list on Facebook:
- Go to your profile and click “Friends” on the left sidebar
- Click the button for “Create List”
- Give your list a name like “Close Friends”
- Search for and add the friends you want to include
Now when you update your relationship status, you can select “Close Friends” to limit visibility.
Remove Tag Notifications
If you get tagged in posts or photos with your new partner, it could give away your new relationship status. Adjust your tag notifications so you can approve tags before anyone else sees them:
- Go to “Settings”
- Click “Timeline and Tagging”
- Choose “Review posts you’re tagged in before the post appears on your timeline”
This will let you hide relationship tag notifications so only you can see them.
Unfriend Specific People
If there are just a few nosey friends or family members you want to avoid sharing your relationship with, unfriend or block them temporarily. You can always re-add them after you’ve made the status public. This gives you total control over who can access your profile and see your dating life.
Use a Partial Name or Nickname
When changing your status to “In a Relationship,” you can also choose to display your partner’s name. If you want to provide some indication of your new relationship without using a full name, consider using a partial name, nickname, or just initials.
For example, you could list your status as “In a relationship with M” or “In a relationship with Honey” to imply you’re dating someone new, but keep their identity private.
Keep Old Status and Add Life Event
If you don’t want to raise suspicions by changing your relationship status altogether, simply leave your current status as-is and instead post a new life event about being in a new relationship. This allows you to announce the news while maintaining your current profile status.
Adjust Old Posts and Photos
Make sure past posts and photos don’t reveal more than you want about your new relationship. Go through your previous posts and photos to remove anything too coupley, romantic, or revealing. You want to control what information is available about your new partner.
Review Tagging Settings
To prevent being tagged in the future in any posts you don’t want public, adjust your tagging settings:
- Go to “Settings”
- Click “Timeline and Tagging”
- Select “Review tags people add to your own posts before the tags appear on Facebook”
This gives you control over tags people try to add to your own posts moving forward.
Restrict Relationship Info Sharing
You can limit some relationship info visibility in your privacy settings:
- Go to “Settings” then “Privacy”
- Click “Edit” under “Who can see your relationship info”
- Adjust the audience selector as desired
This will limit who can see info about your relationship and family details on your profile.
Avoid Suspicious Posts
Be cautious what you post during the early days of a new relationship, as vague statuses or photos together could reveal more than intended. Keep posts generic rather than romantic while keeping the relationship quiet.
Use Other Social Media Instead
You may feel more comfortable sharing select relationship updates on other social networks like Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat or TikTok where you can better control your audience. You don’t have to share everything right away on Facebook.
Tell People Individually
Break the news to select friends and family individually via text, chat, phone call or in person. This gives you control over who finds out early on, without a mass Facebook announcement.
Create a Close Friends List
Facebook has an inner circle feature called Close Friends where you can easily share content to just your closest connections:
- Go to your profile and click “Friends”
- Select “Close Friends” under your friends list
- Choose which friends to include in this inner circle
Now you can share relationship updates and stories with just Close Friends rather than all friends.
Wait Until Milestones
Big relationship milestones like moving in together, getting engaged or married may feel like better timing for a public relationship status change. Hold off until then rather than forcing an announcement.
Remember You Can Always Change It
If you do make your status public but then have second thoughts, you can always revert back to private or remove it. Don’t feel like you’re stuck with any relationship status update permanently.
Beware of Mutual Friends and Photos
Even if you keep your status private, mutual friends and photos tagged together could give your relationship away. Review both carefully to ensure nothing gets publicly shared without your approval.
Google Yourself and Partner
Google yourself and your partner to see what information comes up that could disclose your new relationship. Look for public registrations, forum posts, or any other digitally available info you weren’t aware of.
Google Your Name and Partner Together
Specifically search your name together with your partner’s name in quotation marks, like “John Doe” “Jane Smith”. This turns up search results about both of you as a couple, even without a public relationship status.
Check Linked Social Profiles
Even if you’re private on Facebook, check what’s publicly visible on your other linked social media accounts like Instagram, Spotify or Goodreads. Make sure they don’t reveal anything you want to keep quiet.
Review Dating Profiles
If you previously had an online dating profile, check that it’s been deactivated or remove any mentions of your new partner. You don’t want it publicly contradicting your new relationship status.
Change your mindset
Instead of seeing it as “hiding” your relationship, try to reframe it as revealing your relationship only to those closest to you. Keep in mind that not everyone needs to know your business. The beginning of a relationship can be a special time between just the two of you to nurture and grow your connection.
Be Patient With Friends and Family
If friends and family feel hurt finding out later, gently remind them this is your personal life. Explain you only kept it private because it was so new and wanted time to see where it led before informing everyone.
Remember It’s Your News to Share
Your relationship status is your personal news to share on your own timeline. You have no obligation to disclose a relationship before you feel ready. Go at your own pace.
Check In With Your Partner
Have an open conversation with your partner about how public or private you each want to keep your new relationship status. Make sure you’re on the same page about things like social media.
Don’t Add Your Partner to Bio or Featured Photos
Avoid adding your new partner’s name to your bio or making any new profile photos together your main profile photo. This is a very public display signaling you’re in a relationship.
Conclusion
Changing your Facebook relationship status can be a big deal, so it’s understandable to want to keep a new relationship private for a while. Luckily Facebook provides several options for updating your status discreetly without broadcasting it to all your friends and family right away. By following the tips above, you can subtly change your status without anyone finding out until you’re ready to make a formal announcement and go Facebook official. The beginning of relationships are special moments between two people, so move at your own pace sharing when it feels right for you.